Stop me if I'm wrong, but you may have heard this one:
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?"
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven....ha, ha......ha? Right....
You see the problem with this is the logic behind it. Really this joke is only pointing out the obvious: would not a Jew, or any person for that matter, scream if they were put in an oven? Well, I would think so. Therefore, by attempting to be an ass, this joke is only pointing out how Jews are normal fucking people, with vocal chords, just like everyone else.
Why thank you, Mr. Joke, for pointing out to us the underlying equality of all human beings.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Things I think....
An apple a day keeps the doctor away....
Because, secretly, all doctors are terrified of apples.
Because, secretly, all doctors are terrified of apples.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I send to you my deepest regards....
Dear Blog,
I would like to apologize for leaving you so neglected and underfed as of late. I embarked on my journey with you at an ill-conceived time. Once I have completed my previous quest: 'Graduate College.' I will return and promise to update you in a fashion that is much more becoming to a blog such as yourself.
Please forgive me any transgression. I wish you the best in my absence.
Sincerely,
Mallory
:) :) :)
I would like to apologize for leaving you so neglected and underfed as of late. I embarked on my journey with you at an ill-conceived time. Once I have completed my previous quest: 'Graduate College.' I will return and promise to update you in a fashion that is much more becoming to a blog such as yourself.
Please forgive me any transgression. I wish you the best in my absence.
Sincerely,
Mallory
:) :) :)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Incongruity
I'm confused by the world in which Jane's Addiction is opening for NIN....
Then again last time I saw NIN they had a "slam poet" open for them.
My brain hurts.
http://www.livenation.com/edp/eventId/404895/?c=adb-pittsburgh-nin-b
Then again last time I saw NIN they had a "slam poet" open for them.
My brain hurts.
http://www.livenation.com/edp/eventId/404895/?c=adb-pittsburgh-nin-b
News of Note
I haven't had much time to think about writing, but I'm trying to be informed more than I normally am. I decided to actually use my digg account more frequently, since one of the main reasons I'm not up to date on news is that I don't particularly trust getting my news from any one source.
14yr old girl posts nude pics on myspace and is charged with child porn
California contemplates banning black cars
Apparently if you're not mainstream you are a threat
15yr depression?? Keynesian vs. Austrian economics
14yr old girl posts nude pics on myspace and is charged with child porn
California contemplates banning black cars
Apparently if you're not mainstream you are a threat
15yr depression?? Keynesian vs. Austrian economics
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Something that has always bothered me...
On Peach St, pretty much the biggest, busiest street in town, there is a Catholic school. I don't know who in their right mind decided to smack a children's school into the middle of a busy, commercial section of town.The only logic I can see behind it is that Catholic schools are truly more of a business than they are anything else.
Now, on top of all this you have the fact that there is, of course, a school zone. A school zone, with it's amazing 15mph speed limit coupled with the inane fact that this is on a street that otherwise is so busy they made the speed limit 40mph. (This is notable because typically the speed limit in the city does not exceed 35mph. You don't find the 40mph roads until you get in out into the country moreso.)
I can't imagine that I am really the only person who finds this outrageous. There obviously was a complete lack of logic thought that went into the placement of this school.
I think that they don't need a school zone. The Catholics already think they're so much better than everyone else, surely it wouldn't be a big task for them to just ask God to protect their children from being idiots who run into oncoming traffic. Problem solved: I don't have to sit in traffic jams on the way to work. No one has to road rage. And the Catholics can finally prove their faith to the rest of humanity, I mean, they don't have any doubts, right??
Now, on top of all this you have the fact that there is, of course, a school zone. A school zone, with it's amazing 15mph speed limit coupled with the inane fact that this is on a street that otherwise is so busy they made the speed limit 40mph. (This is notable because typically the speed limit in the city does not exceed 35mph. You don't find the 40mph roads until you get in out into the country moreso.)
I can't imagine that I am really the only person who finds this outrageous. There obviously was a complete lack of logic thought that went into the placement of this school.
I think that they don't need a school zone. The Catholics already think they're so much better than everyone else, surely it wouldn't be a big task for them to just ask God to protect their children from being idiots who run into oncoming traffic. Problem solved: I don't have to sit in traffic jams on the way to work. No one has to road rage. And the Catholics can finally prove their faith to the rest of humanity, I mean, they don't have any doubts, right??
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Ads and extraneous penis talk
Great. Now all my Google ads are about trucks. I wonder how many times I have to say penis to get them to display ads for penis enhancement. I wonder if Google even supports ads for penis enhancement or are they too classy for that? What about breast enhancement? Although I don't know how many people would think to themselves that a random ad on the side of a page would be the best way to go about making your dick bigger.
You know how there are all those weight loss programs that use hypnotism to "convince" you to choose better eating habits? Maybe they should do that for penis enlargement too. (What is the plural of penis? penises? penis'? peni? penisise penisese? I have no clue. But if you pronounce that last one it sounds like the name for an indiginous people of Penis origin: "What nationality are you?" "I am Penisese.") Everyone knows deep down that taking a drug, or rubbing some cream on their junk isn't going to make it any bigger. But if we can sell them hypnotism instead, they can be hypnotized to think that their penis is bigger (or just to think that it doesn't need to be bigger). Voila! Satisfied customers. Oh wait, I forgot that you never want to actually, completely satisfy your customers..... if you did that then they would hve no reason to keep giving you money and your business would go straight down the drain. Maybe the effects could wear off after a month or 2 so they would need repeat hynosis sessions. lol, epic.
You know how there are all those weight loss programs that use hypnotism to "convince" you to choose better eating habits? Maybe they should do that for penis enlargement too. (What is the plural of penis? penises? penis'? peni? penisise penisese? I have no clue. But if you pronounce that last one it sounds like the name for an indiginous people of Penis origin: "What nationality are you?" "I am Penisese.") Everyone knows deep down that taking a drug, or rubbing some cream on their junk isn't going to make it any bigger. But if we can sell them hypnotism instead, they can be hypnotized to think that their penis is bigger (or just to think that it doesn't need to be bigger). Voila! Satisfied customers. Oh wait, I forgot that you never want to actually, completely satisfy your customers..... if you did that then they would hve no reason to keep giving you money and your business would go straight down the drain. Maybe the effects could wear off after a month or 2 so they would need repeat hynosis sessions. lol, epic.
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