Sunday, May 31, 2009

I could use a little PATIENCE

I wish it had happened sooner, but at least we're not still waiting.

Roger is leaving on June 13th to go to Cali and then training in New Mexico for 5 months. I wish I was leaving that sooner too, though I don't envy him the heat he's going to have to endure during training.

As for me, I'm stuck. I get to pack and clean and plan a life in a place I have never seen. I'll be looking online for apartments I won't be able to see in neighborhoods that I'll have to call other people to ask about. I know if there a neighborhoods you want to avoid in a place as small as Erie that there are only going to be worse neighborhoods in a place as big as San Diego, and I'm sure all the seemingly cheap places to live will be in those places.

Also, during this time I need to keep a decent job so I can live, of course. But I need to take my GREs.... and start the lengthy, painful application process for grad school. I'm probably going to take advantage of my lack of anything to do by actually studying a little for the GRE before I sign up to take it. To the best of my knowledge there is only one university in the San Diego area that has a graduate program in political philosophy: University of California at San Diego. I really don't have a clue how exclusive the program may or may not be, but I don't want to miss my only chance. I'd also like to do good enough that I can be eligible for funding or even a fellowship, although I admittedly don't really know how all that grad school stuff works yet. I know that university will throw money at you if you're the right person and I'd like to make that possible.

In the mean time I'm going to fill out the application I have sitting around for a substitute teaching position with the Erie School District. I don't mind kids, although I believe I would abhor teaching high school. But it would give me some decent experience. Plus substitute teachers don't really have to do much.... if they get called in to cover someone that teaches in an area other than their own expertise they basically show the kids a movie or give them some busy work. You don't have to have lesson plans and all that jazz. Plus, even though it probably won't start until August or so, it will give me some extra money and something to occupy my time.

I don't know how much longer I can put up with Best Buy's bullshit. Truthfully, I love the company. They try to do amazing things for their employees and everyone at the BBY in State College was top notch. But in Erie, everyone's terrible. If I stay here much longer it will only be for lack of a better (or equally good) paying option.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


So far nothing has changed. My grade is still a B. I haven't heard anything either way and, despite the fact that I'm epicly pissed off by this, I think I'm just inclined to let it go. As long as I graduate with a 3.0 cumulative GPA still..... I really don't see the point in bickering over one fuckin' grade. Yeah..... I understand that maybe he gave me the grade out of kindness and that I shouldn't be so upset by this, but every moment of my time this past week was crucial. The time I spent on his paper may have caused me to bomb my last final on Friday that was worth 40% of my overall grade. I feel like I did so much for nothing at all.....

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Ok, so I really need this rant right now.

This week is finals week for me. Not only is it the craziest week of the semester, but I am graduating - so it is the craziest week of my life (so far). Now aside from all the work I finished up last week or over the weekend, I had 2 papers due on Tues, 1 paper due today (Thurs) and I have a bunch of essays to prepare for a final tomorrow morning still.

Now there is a bit of confusion here. You see, I finished my first 2 papers, handed one in on Tues and one in on Wed, these are both not only for the same professor, but for one class. Now, this paper I had to write for today had to be twice the length of those other papers. It is also, strangely enough, for the same professor. However, the reason this paper had to be so long was because it was for an independent study course - for which I received no other assignments all semester - so I had to thusly demonstrate in one paper a whole semester's worth of knowledge. I'm not complaining because I really didn't have the free time during the rest of the semester, so even though this option makes for an excruciating week for me, I like it.

So.... I get to work on this paper around 10 this morning. I have no idea what to write about and since I didn't have assignments all semester I obviously didn't keep up with the reading. Not even just that; I actually hadn't read anything at all and had absolutely ZERO knowledge about the subject matter. Lucky me. So I spend a few hours in the morning just reading through lectures and gleaming enough knowledge that I can come up with a topic and do further research. I finally find one and begin writing, but I constantly have to go look up information, which makes the whole process extremely painful.

I went through this ongoing pain for about 9 hours before I decided to take a little break. I was at a computer in the library so I decided to go check and see if any more of my grades had been posted to eLion. I highly doubted it, since I had just handed in work for one class yesterday, I still have a final tomorrow and one of my bitchy profs is fuckin' slow (yeah....). I figured it was a long shot, but it's almost the end of finals week so maybe I'll get lucky. I'm surprised to see that 6 out of 8 classes have grades posted for them already. (No grade from the fucking slow bitch prof of course.)

This wouldn't normally bother me except for one small detail. There is already a grade posted for the class which I'm currently working on the paper for. The same class in which I have had no assignments all semester and therefore have no basis on which to have a grade.

I've been given a B.

Now, I seriously don't want to complain about getting a B for doing no work. I just wish I would have known sooner that I could get a B for doing no work. Also, I'm extremely fucking pissed that I just wasted 11 hours writing a paper that doesn't even fucking matter when I could have been working on essays for my final tomorrow morning that IS going to fucking matter!!! omg I could kill someone.

I'm not sure if this is a blessing or a curse. I figure it is possible that he made a mistake. Perhaps he saw that he had papers from me and associated one of them with the wrong class......except that wouldn't make sense because they are about completely different things.....

I almost punched the fuckin' computer and left. But....then I contemplated the possibility that he accidentally gave me that grade and could take it back when he realizes what he did. Well, I figure, on the off chance that happens I should finish the paper. So, somehow, I muster up the audacity to spend another 2 hours finishing a bullshit, worthless fucking paper. The only consolation I find in this is that if I got a B in that class for doing nothing maybe once he sees that I actually wrote a fucking paper he will raise my grade. I figure is nothing is worth a B, then something should be worth at least an A-, don't ya think??

Wow.......... fuck this shit.