Going it alone.

No one is moving with us. At first I thought it was kind of a shame, but now I'm glad for it.

Roger and I both thought we were doing something nice by offering the chance to our friends. And yeah, Mike probably needs a new start more than anyone. For Kyle it would have been an opportunity, but he will have more. The thing is that we're both so happy to be able to leave and make a real life for ourselves that I think it is hard to see that our friends aren't ready to do that yet.

But it's ok. I, for one, need to learn to live my life for myself. I need to take this time to do whatever it is that makes me happy and not worry about everyone else. (Well, I still worry about my boyfriend, but he's part of what makes me happy so that's allowed.)

I have an apartment to get, a move to plan and a life to live. And I'm incredibly happy for it. I don't care what hardship there may be involved. Moving is stressful and I stress easily, but I'll get through it. The cross-country drive is going to suck like a mother-fucker. But what is 3 or 4 days of discomfort in comparison to years of happiness??

Yeah, leaving my family is going to hurt. I love them dearly. They're pretty fucking crazy, though not in the harmful way, lol. So they often make me feel a little more centered. I worry about my siblings and how they're going to do getting through high school and such.

But I worry too much. I know I do. I can't watch over everything, for everyone. People need to cope with the hardships of life or they won't learn. I tried just telling my brother all the stuff I learned to deal with in high school, but quickly discovered that it's not just something you can be told, especially as a kid.

Yes, I worry. But I can only hope for the best and take care of myself.