Future thoughts that I must write down now, in order to ensure I commit to them:
Why the fuck is my cat licking the carpet? I know it's clean.... I just vacuumed. (I lied, I'm really going to write about that later.)
I don't think Obama would have gotten elected if he was married to a white woman. Our country acts like we're not still racist, but even borderline racist white people can accept blacks if they see them as "keeping with their own kind." I think there is some underlying hypocrisy, even in having a black president. Just b/c we elected him doesn't mean we're suddenly good people and the rest of the world will stop hating us.
.... There was something else, which I've already forgotten, just after that one paragraph. Damnit.
I hope Android kills the iPhone. I want it so bad I can taste it.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
An Ode to Bottled Pop (and to calling it "pop")
Some pop is better in cans. Some in bottles. And still others from a fountain tap. But it doesn't really make sense....
I know that fountain pop is different. Many people seem to prefer it. I don't. I prefer bottles, but for various reasons.
First of all, my favorite pop is Code Red Mountain Dew. It has been for nearly 10 years and I don't think that's going to be changing any time soon. However, I really only like it in bottles. I'll drink it anyway, I suppose, but the bottle taste is the one ingrained in me. The others may not taste very much different (fountain is preferred over cans), but I think a lot of my preference is psychological. I'm not quite sure when Code Red came out, I'm sure I could wiki it, but it's unimportant. I didn't immediately like it the moment it hit market.... I never hop onto new things like that. But it grew on me during my middle and high school years. This is where the psychological part sneaks in. During those years my time was filled with hallway vending machines, before and after school trips to the convenient store down the street, football games, grueling practice hours and long bus rides. This was a time for bottles. It's not very common to see a vending machine for cans anymore and it was becoming uncommon, even then. Also, when you're going to classes, or generally on-the-go, you are not going to take a can with you. Cans are messy, inconvenient to carry and they go flat way too fast (my personal pet peeve). Even as I grew up, got my own car and went to college, convenient stores were still the way to go. And college bred the same environment; vending machines, cafe coolers and late night study lounges.
Cans require a different sort of person. A person with a sense of more immediacy, or perhaps with less caring for quality. I'm not a can person. I don't have the immediacy. My pop goes flat. I cannot bring myself to drink flat pop; it disgusts me. Therefore, my quality standards are too high. There are some things I like in cans, like the Orange Crush I'm drinking right now, which I've discovered I like vastly more than the bottled Orange Fanta they sell at work.... though the issues there seem to be with carbonation.
Also, a California observance:
Coke products. Because of my inclination for Mountain Dew (regular Mt.Dew is the default preference in the face of nearly perpetual lack of Code Red), I prefer establishments that carry Pepsi products. Barely anywhere here has Pepsi. Some of the normal fast food changes do, but there is a heavy bias toward Coke here. What makes it even funnier is the Dr. Pepper. Apparently, everyone here loves Dr. Pepper. You will go up to a random vending machine and the selections will include: Coke, Diet Coke, Dasani, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, & Iced Tea (or something arbitrary). Establishments which would normally only carry Coke products add on Dr. Pepper as well. My mom mentioned this phenomena being present in Texas as well, which leads me to consider it a southern thing. Not just a "California" thing.
I know that fountain pop is different. Many people seem to prefer it. I don't. I prefer bottles, but for various reasons.
First of all, my favorite pop is Code Red Mountain Dew. It has been for nearly 10 years and I don't think that's going to be changing any time soon. However, I really only like it in bottles. I'll drink it anyway, I suppose, but the bottle taste is the one ingrained in me. The others may not taste very much different (fountain is preferred over cans), but I think a lot of my preference is psychological. I'm not quite sure when Code Red came out, I'm sure I could wiki it, but it's unimportant. I didn't immediately like it the moment it hit market.... I never hop onto new things like that. But it grew on me during my middle and high school years. This is where the psychological part sneaks in. During those years my time was filled with hallway vending machines, before and after school trips to the convenient store down the street, football games, grueling practice hours and long bus rides. This was a time for bottles. It's not very common to see a vending machine for cans anymore and it was becoming uncommon, even then. Also, when you're going to classes, or generally on-the-go, you are not going to take a can with you. Cans are messy, inconvenient to carry and they go flat way too fast (my personal pet peeve). Even as I grew up, got my own car and went to college, convenient stores were still the way to go. And college bred the same environment; vending machines, cafe coolers and late night study lounges.
Cans require a different sort of person. A person with a sense of more immediacy, or perhaps with less caring for quality. I'm not a can person. I don't have the immediacy. My pop goes flat. I cannot bring myself to drink flat pop; it disgusts me. Therefore, my quality standards are too high. There are some things I like in cans, like the Orange Crush I'm drinking right now, which I've discovered I like vastly more than the bottled Orange Fanta they sell at work.... though the issues there seem to be with carbonation.
Also, a California observance:
Coke products. Because of my inclination for Mountain Dew (regular Mt.Dew is the default preference in the face of nearly perpetual lack of Code Red), I prefer establishments that carry Pepsi products. Barely anywhere here has Pepsi. Some of the normal fast food changes do, but there is a heavy bias toward Coke here. What makes it even funnier is the Dr. Pepper. Apparently, everyone here loves Dr. Pepper. You will go up to a random vending machine and the selections will include: Coke, Diet Coke, Dasani, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, & Iced Tea (or something arbitrary). Establishments which would normally only carry Coke products add on Dr. Pepper as well. My mom mentioned this phenomena being present in Texas as well, which leads me to consider it a southern thing. Not just a "California" thing.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I found Jesus. He was hiding in my fucking calendar.
Fuck alot of this shit! Seriously?!
What percentage of people are religious? A pretty decent number. Now religion wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that it is continually shoved in everyone's faces. I'm quiet and respectful of other's beliefs..... at least when in company. The internet is made for bitching.
Here's the thing:
I just came home from the store - Walmart of all places - where I purchased a calendar. There were many calendars available, some of them with religious messages or connotations to them. Due to my own personal beliefs, I chose NOT to purchase a calendar that had any religious message or overtones. A bought a calendar with fucking pies on it. Yes. PIES. Pies don't seem to be a very religious thing, at least I didn't think so. Did Jesus eat pie at the last supper? NO. But what do I find when I open my calendar? A cardboard insert, intended for keeping the calendar's shape while in the store. This insert could have been a plain, boring, brown piece of trash. Instead, it was a brown, boring, piece of trash COVERED in Bible verses and other religious jargon.
Why? My life doesn't need to be invaded with this.
What percentage of people are religious? A pretty decent number. Now religion wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that it is continually shoved in everyone's faces. I'm quiet and respectful of other's beliefs..... at least when in company. The internet is made for bitching.
Here's the thing:
I just came home from the store - Walmart of all places - where I purchased a calendar. There were many calendars available, some of them with religious messages or connotations to them. Due to my own personal beliefs, I chose NOT to purchase a calendar that had any religious message or overtones. A bought a calendar with fucking pies on it. Yes. PIES. Pies don't seem to be a very religious thing, at least I didn't think so. Did Jesus eat pie at the last supper? NO. But what do I find when I open my calendar? A cardboard insert, intended for keeping the calendar's shape while in the store. This insert could have been a plain, boring, brown piece of trash. Instead, it was a brown, boring, piece of trash COVERED in Bible verses and other religious jargon.
Why? My life doesn't need to be invaded with this.
Pagans are wicked awesome
I get along very well with pagans. I'm not sure why. I'm not pagan, I'm not really religious at all, but their personalities seem to mesh well with mine. I never discuss religion with them so it isn't a direct correspondence. I don't really know much about modern paganism. I know the basics of the concepts behind it, but I don't any more about the different strains of paganism that are around now than someone who says "All Christians believe in Jesus and are therefore all the same."
The concept interests me. Especially since I have never actively tried to befriend pagans (Should pagans be capitalized? Probably, but I wouldn't want to go all "politically correct" now, lol). I have never been extremely close friends with any pagans, none that I've been on "best friend" terms, or anything like that, but I've been casual friends with enough of them to realize that there's something to it. I know it's not directly due to the fact that they're pagans, but I also know that there is a vast array of personality traits that one must possess to be open-minded about religion and a number of other of life's mysteries.... and some of those traits must be present in order for me to really want to get to know someone. Or, more importantly, for me to actually be able to stand being around them for any significant length of time.
The concept interests me. Especially since I have never actively tried to befriend pagans (Should pagans be capitalized? Probably, but I wouldn't want to go all "politically correct" now, lol). I have never been extremely close friends with any pagans, none that I've been on "best friend" terms, or anything like that, but I've been casual friends with enough of them to realize that there's something to it. I know it's not directly due to the fact that they're pagans, but I also know that there is a vast array of personality traits that one must possess to be open-minded about religion and a number of other of life's mysteries.... and some of those traits must be present in order for me to really want to get to know someone. Or, more importantly, for me to actually be able to stand being around them for any significant length of time.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Perhaps a beginning...
Inspiration is fleeting and should never be squandered. But at what expense? We often put things off, thinking that they can wait. How many times have ideas been lost forever because we didn't have the necessary time to bring them to life? It also leaves one to wonder what your priorities are. If I'm sitting at work and I'm suddenly struck by inspiration it is likely I will ignore it. Perhaps I will daydream about it for a minute or two, compose something that sounds more brilliant in my head than anything I've ever committed to paper, sometimes I will ever scratch out a note to myself, under the guise that I will be able to pick up the inspiration again, right where I dropped it off. But that seldom happens. I'm not the type to get inspired often. I will have a few moments, or sentences of brilliance and then rant off into the night. Sometimes my brain works so fast that I will lose something important to the ether before I'm able to finish fleshing out the current thought. And then it's gone. Like it never even happened. So what does one sacrifice in order to do what feels right?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Dear Jesus, please bring me a pony for xmas... I promise I've been a good girl.
I hate how much religions seem to be centered around alleviating people's fear of dying. Religions concentrate on these sets of rules you have to follow and if you don't follow them Santa won't let you into Heaven. Now isn't that some fucked up shit.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Muse, for my lack of
So, I haven't been on in awhile because of the move. However, I'm finally in San Diego and finally have internet access! Yay!
Anywho, I'm going to be writing quite a bit about my observations, annoyances, and irritations in regard to California, moving and life. I have a whole list of things I plan to write about, but for now I'm taking it slow and, since we're just getting settled in to our new place and new routines, you get this:
I've been hearing this song off and on without really paying it much mind. But I finally decided to take notice of it and I really like it.
Anywho, I'm going to be writing quite a bit about my observations, annoyances, and irritations in regard to California, moving and life. I have a whole list of things I plan to write about, but for now I'm taking it slow and, since we're just getting settled in to our new place and new routines, you get this:
I've been hearing this song off and on without really paying it much mind. But I finally decided to take notice of it and I really like it.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
In other news....
I'm moving in under a week. Yeah. I'm borderline freaking out, but only on the inside. *sigh*
Yeah, California seems bad ass, but at the same time I know it took about a year until we felt right in State College and by that time we were leaving. That especially sucked because I left behind some really awesome people. Some of whom just got engaged on Halloween! and I'm extremely excited for.
Dani + Ian: You guys are fan-fucking-tastic. I love you. <3
Yeah, California seems bad ass, but at the same time I know it took about a year until we felt right in State College and by that time we were leaving. That especially sucked because I left behind some really awesome people. Some of whom just got engaged on Halloween! and I'm extremely excited for.
Dani + Ian: You guys are fan-fucking-tastic. I love you. <3
More Musical Musings...
I like this song, and I really don't care who knows it. :)
This one, well, it's a great song. However, I almost wish I had never experienced this video. This guy should have never been permitted to be immortalized in film....especially his teeth. gah.
This one, well, it's a great song. However, I almost wish I had never experienced this video. This guy should have never been permitted to be immortalized in film....especially his teeth. gah.
Friday, October 30, 2009
My weird musical musings
I've been on a weird youtube music video kick. Which is especially weird b/c I have never been into music videos.... not really sure why, but I don't really find music a "watching" activity. Well, I had this song in my head, not sure how or why, and I really had no idea who is was by or anything at all. It actually took me awhile to even find out via google. Now I feel awkward that I like a song that was released in '79..... Still, it's a good song. Fuck it.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
This is what happens when ppl think drugs are like special magic-candy....
A random message I received:
"What do you have against drugs? I mean really. A lot of hard-working, cool, respectable people do drugs; but so do a lot of irresponsible dipshit losers. It's not fair to make such a sweeping generalization. You could be limiting your circle of friends in a pretty regrettable way. Besides, even the term itself is debatable. There are pillheads out there doing way more damage to themselves with legal OxyContin prescriptions (etc etc) than some hippies smoking pot and eating mushrooms (etc etc) could ever dream of doing. Just sayin'."
Ok, fair enough. I don't normally even bother to get into these kind of debates, but let's see my response:
"Well, I didn't say anything particularly negative about drug users. At least not that I recall..... though I do tend to go off when I rant and I could have said something I wasn't paying attention to. No; it's true I look down on drug users. And I understand perfectly well that your points are valid. I have had many friends who used drugs. I have also watched many of those friends wash themselves down the drain of society. I don't doubt that there are people out there who can be successful and still indulge in their own personal vice. My qualm is mostly within myself. I personally dislike drugs and, despite my understanding that they are not entirely negative in all circumstances, I tend to look down upon people that do them. This is my vice. I judge people based on their actions, in this case it is sometimes before I know those people. I know I am limiting my circle of friends, but the fact is that I don't think it's fair to hang out with someone while silently thinking I am better than them. (Because while this may not be true, this is how is works in my head...) I have some friends who I have told this to, and apologized for the fact that I look down on them for their choices, and we have been able to remain friends. Despite my opinion on the matter I don't actively bash on people for the choices they've made. I just choose to ignore them, or avoid putting myself in circumstance where I would be uncomfortable.
I'm not saying that my thinking is 100% right all the time. I'm just saying that it's the way I am. I guess I'm just a stuck-up bitch? But at least I know it, lol."
So I just laid it out there. I was honest, but not rude. At least not by my standards, lol. And, to my endless surprise, I wasn't met with animosity for it.
Response:
"I must say, it all sounds more reasonable after your elaborations. I wouldn't call you a stuck-up bitch... at least, not now :)
Well, good luck to you in all your drug free endeavors."
Well, that went well. Better than expected even. :)
"What do you have against drugs? I mean really. A lot of hard-working, cool, respectable people do drugs; but so do a lot of irresponsible dipshit losers. It's not fair to make such a sweeping generalization. You could be limiting your circle of friends in a pretty regrettable way. Besides, even the term itself is debatable. There are pillheads out there doing way more damage to themselves with legal OxyContin prescriptions (etc etc) than some hippies smoking pot and eating mushrooms (etc etc) could ever dream of doing. Just sayin'."
Ok, fair enough. I don't normally even bother to get into these kind of debates, but let's see my response:
"Well, I didn't say anything particularly negative about drug users. At least not that I recall..... though I do tend to go off when I rant and I could have said something I wasn't paying attention to. No; it's true I look down on drug users. And I understand perfectly well that your points are valid. I have had many friends who used drugs. I have also watched many of those friends wash themselves down the drain of society. I don't doubt that there are people out there who can be successful and still indulge in their own personal vice. My qualm is mostly within myself. I personally dislike drugs and, despite my understanding that they are not entirely negative in all circumstances, I tend to look down upon people that do them. This is my vice. I judge people based on their actions, in this case it is sometimes before I know those people. I know I am limiting my circle of friends, but the fact is that I don't think it's fair to hang out with someone while silently thinking I am better than them. (Because while this may not be true, this is how is works in my head...) I have some friends who I have told this to, and apologized for the fact that I look down on them for their choices, and we have been able to remain friends. Despite my opinion on the matter I don't actively bash on people for the choices they've made. I just choose to ignore them, or avoid putting myself in circumstance where I would be uncomfortable.
I'm not saying that my thinking is 100% right all the time. I'm just saying that it's the way I am. I guess I'm just a stuck-up bitch? But at least I know it, lol."
So I just laid it out there. I was honest, but not rude. At least not by my standards, lol. And, to my endless surprise, I wasn't met with animosity for it.
Response:
"I must say, it all sounds more reasonable after your elaborations. I wouldn't call you a stuck-up bitch... at least, not now :)
Well, good luck to you in all your drug free endeavors."
Well, that went well. Better than expected even. :)
DIY
I have this frequent habit of going to the hardware store, or any store for that matter, and looking for very strange things. This usually happens when I'm working on some bizarre project of mine that involves making something for cheaper than it would cost to buy it. The interesting part is when I have to figure out where in the store my "materials" would be located. This is difficult because I am not usually aware enough to think about what normal people would be using it for, which would help at least put me in the right direction.
Today's project was nylon mesh netting, or whatever you want to call it. They make these things to hang in your car that act as a barrier between the front and back seats. The reason this is important is because my cats like to climb all over me and anything else they can get to, which only seems potentially fatal when one contemplates driving cross-country and having them in the car for 4 days or so. So, long story short I was gonna buy one of these things online, but it was like $20. So I thought, "Maybe I can just find some netting and make my own."
Despite the simplicity of my intentions this seems to be where I went wrong. I wandered around Lowes' for awhile before actually getting a remotely intelligent person I could ask. They don't have it there and no one could really think of anything else it would be used for that would help point me in the right direction. The best the 2 Lowes' associates came up with was for me to try Pier 1 Imports..... I'm not sure why, but apparently they've seen nets there you can hang your stuffed animals in. I'm not sure if they're retarded, but that wouldn't have helped me. Some random passerby was intrigued by my outlandish request and began to brainstorm with us (the Lowe's worker and myself). He suggested I try an automotive store that would carry very similar nets as "cargo nets".
I was pleased, this was a great idea, except.....oh.............. wait for it, The fucking cargo net in the auto store is $25, thus 100% completely fucking eliminating an chance I had at saving money. I guess it's back to the drawing board.
Today's project was nylon mesh netting, or whatever you want to call it. They make these things to hang in your car that act as a barrier between the front and back seats. The reason this is important is because my cats like to climb all over me and anything else they can get to, which only seems potentially fatal when one contemplates driving cross-country and having them in the car for 4 days or so. So, long story short I was gonna buy one of these things online, but it was like $20. So I thought, "Maybe I can just find some netting and make my own."
Despite the simplicity of my intentions this seems to be where I went wrong. I wandered around Lowes' for awhile before actually getting a remotely intelligent person I could ask. They don't have it there and no one could really think of anything else it would be used for that would help point me in the right direction. The best the 2 Lowes' associates came up with was for me to try Pier 1 Imports..... I'm not sure why, but apparently they've seen nets there you can hang your stuffed animals in. I'm not sure if they're retarded, but that wouldn't have helped me. Some random passerby was intrigued by my outlandish request and began to brainstorm with us (the Lowe's worker and myself). He suggested I try an automotive store that would carry very similar nets as "cargo nets".
I was pleased, this was a great idea, except.....oh.............. wait for it, The fucking cargo net in the auto store is $25, thus 100% completely fucking eliminating an chance I had at saving money. I guess it's back to the drawing board.
Grown up time for the kid at heart.
I went to the gym this morning and, while in the shower, I realized that all my shower products are orange. They are also all little kids products, lol. And they all smell yummy, which is the best part. Shampoo smells like melon, or something, body wash smells like....mango, or something, and spray conditioner smells like green apple. I'm good enough to eat. I don't want to grow up. :)
Friend Sap (non-tree related...)
I look back now on alot of the people I once considered friends, and I realize how completely, 100% different I am from those people. There may have been a time when I regretted not keeping people around, or thought that I did something to drive them away, but now I really don't care. I'm who I am today due, in part, to the people I left behind. That will always be changing.
and, to those who are my friends now (you know who you are, even if I'm not always sure): I love you all and I'm grateful for the time we've had. I don't mean to leave more people behind, because I tend to like the ones I have now, so stay in touch. And be comforted in the fact that I don't think I will find myself looking back on any of you and wondering what the fuck I was thinking.
and, to those who are my friends now (you know who you are, even if I'm not always sure): I love you all and I'm grateful for the time we've had. I don't mean to leave more people behind, because I tend to like the ones I have now, so stay in touch. And be comforted in the fact that I don't think I will find myself looking back on any of you and wondering what the fuck I was thinking.
o'rly?
Apparently the gibberish below is what happens when I attempt to post from my phone.... which I'm supposed to be able to do.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Final touches
Dun dun Duuuun.
Supposed to be getting new tires tomorrow. This will be our last real expense before the move, as it is actually necessary. My grampa is even getting me his discount on the tires, which is awesome.
Although I am a little worried that my grandparents might also try to pay for them. My grampa is supposed to be having surgery next week and they have all kinds of expenses at the moment; I have already told them that I wouldn't be able to accept even if they did offer to buy us tires just to be nice, because they need all the money they have right now.
In other news Dahlia is back on a liquid diet due to a rectal prolapse and things are nerve-racking in that department. However, he has been doing good since his last vet visit last Thursday and even though I can tell he is still having trouble going to the bathroom he is actually able to go.... hence the liquid diet. Watching a 3 foot long Tegu try to attack a bowl full of baby food is just a priceless sight. I might have to take some video next time and post it, lol.
Supposed to be getting new tires tomorrow. This will be our last real expense before the move, as it is actually necessary. My grampa is even getting me his discount on the tires, which is awesome.
Although I am a little worried that my grandparents might also try to pay for them. My grampa is supposed to be having surgery next week and they have all kinds of expenses at the moment; I have already told them that I wouldn't be able to accept even if they did offer to buy us tires just to be nice, because they need all the money they have right now.
In other news Dahlia is back on a liquid diet due to a rectal prolapse and things are nerve-racking in that department. However, he has been doing good since his last vet visit last Thursday and even though I can tell he is still having trouble going to the bathroom he is actually able to go.... hence the liquid diet. Watching a 3 foot long Tegu try to attack a bowl full of baby food is just a priceless sight. I might have to take some video next time and post it, lol.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Topher's unaired badassery
I couldn't find this online anywhere so I felt the need to post it myself. This is Topher's monologue from the unaired pilot of Dollhouse. He and Boyd are debating the doll's behavior....
"Does that tie keep you warm?
It's just what grown up men do in our culture, they put a piece of cloth around their necks so they can assert their status and recognize each other as non-threatening kindred. You wear the tie because it never occurred to you not to. You eat eggs every morning, but never at night. You feel excitement and companionship when rich men, you've never met put a ball through a net. You feel guilty, maybe a little suspicious, every time you see that Salvation Army Santa. You look down for at least half a second if a woman leans forward and your stomach grumbles every time you drive by a big golden arch, even if you weren't hungry before. Everybody's programmed."
I love this little speech, especially since Topher Brink is fucking awesome. He follows the whole thing up with what has to be one of the best lines ever:
"This is cutting edge science, in a house full of hot chics."
Best. Line. Ever.
"Does that tie keep you warm?
It's just what grown up men do in our culture, they put a piece of cloth around their necks so they can assert their status and recognize each other as non-threatening kindred. You wear the tie because it never occurred to you not to. You eat eggs every morning, but never at night. You feel excitement and companionship when rich men, you've never met put a ball through a net. You feel guilty, maybe a little suspicious, every time you see that Salvation Army Santa. You look down for at least half a second if a woman leans forward and your stomach grumbles every time you drive by a big golden arch, even if you weren't hungry before. Everybody's programmed."
I love this little speech, especially since Topher Brink is fucking awesome. He follows the whole thing up with what has to be one of the best lines ever:
"This is cutting edge science, in a house full of hot chics."
Best. Line. Ever.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Drugs are bad, mmkay?
I'm not always keen on trying or doing new things, but if I'm going to do something I go all out.
For instance, I don't like taking drugs. In this category I include normal, over-the-counter medications. However, I'm certainly not going to take something if I don't think it will do it's job.
I get really bad headaches. They can be so bad that when I let them go untreated for too long I ended up spending a hellish evening in the ER. Now, I take something for it before I get to the point where nothing short of an IV will help. I really don't want that to happen again....mostly because I fucking hated having an IV in my arm.
I'm also sick right now. But I will only take medication if something gets to the point of being unbearable. When my throat was so sore that I couldn't talk I went to the grocery store and got the cold medicine with the highest dose of Acetaminophen. I'm not sure why every other medicine had the same amount except this one, but I had been taking headache medicine for a cold, so I figured I needed something else. I'm also really big on only taking medicine for the specific symptoms I have. At first, when it was only the sore throat I didn't need medicine that also included drugs for congestion, sneezing, etc.
A large part of my reasoning behind not taking various forms of drugs to begin with is that it does not tend to easily affect me. I'm not sure why, but as far as I have noticed my body doesn't respond normally to chemicals. Also, at least in the case of taking medicine, I tend to ignore or overlook things until they get so bad that I'm unable to ignore them. Once I get to that point I'm usually beyond the help of 250mg.
For instance, I don't like taking drugs. In this category I include normal, over-the-counter medications. However, I'm certainly not going to take something if I don't think it will do it's job.
I get really bad headaches. They can be so bad that when I let them go untreated for too long I ended up spending a hellish evening in the ER. Now, I take something for it before I get to the point where nothing short of an IV will help. I really don't want that to happen again....mostly because I fucking hated having an IV in my arm.
I'm also sick right now. But I will only take medication if something gets to the point of being unbearable. When my throat was so sore that I couldn't talk I went to the grocery store and got the cold medicine with the highest dose of Acetaminophen. I'm not sure why every other medicine had the same amount except this one, but I had been taking headache medicine for a cold, so I figured I needed something else. I'm also really big on only taking medicine for the specific symptoms I have. At first, when it was only the sore throat I didn't need medicine that also included drugs for congestion, sneezing, etc.
A large part of my reasoning behind not taking various forms of drugs to begin with is that it does not tend to easily affect me. I'm not sure why, but as far as I have noticed my body doesn't respond normally to chemicals. Also, at least in the case of taking medicine, I tend to ignore or overlook things until they get so bad that I'm unable to ignore them. Once I get to that point I'm usually beyond the help of 250mg.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Exploding children
among the many reason i love my boyfriend:
(after a random convo).....
Roger: it's ok, their kids will be dumb and have stds
Me: lmao, true. our kids will pwn minds.
Roger: no shit. they'll also have more arrogance than humanly containable
Me: lmao, omg they will explode!
(after a random convo).....
Roger: it's ok, their kids will be dumb and have stds
Me: lmao, true. our kids will pwn minds.
Roger: no shit. they'll also have more arrogance than humanly containable
Me: lmao, omg they will explode!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Random Update
Displaced pets all have new homes. This is very good. Plus, I have some time to get used to them being gone. I don't know if I would have been ok with so much change all at once when we moved.
Also, my cat has learned how to drink from Bunny's water bottle....
And, in the 45 minutes that I spent in the living room today, I breathed in so much cigarette smoke that I've been coughing for the past 3 hours. Yes, I'm sick, but I wasn't coughing before that. And I have that terrible feeling you get in your throat from cigarette smoke...it lingers.
In other news, my sickness has morphed. I went from having a run-of-the-mill cold to something miserable. My symptoms has dwindled down to congestion and a swollen throat the other day. Now, I'm a little less congested, still not talking normally, but I'm also extremely nauseated. I haven't eaten food that has stayed in my body in 3 days now. :( I didn't eat all day today out, but then I felt a little more stable after work, so I decided to eat a sandwich. Not such a great idea. Now I'm right back where I was. *sigh* Roger told me not to die or he'd be really mad. I asked at whom and he said me, lol, for rage quitting Life. Believe me, I'm not capable of any rage at the moment (which is very unbecoming "How fine you look when dressed in rage.").
Also, it's officially cold. I disapprove of this. I have had to actually turn the air conditioner completely off. Lame.
Also, my cat has learned how to drink from Bunny's water bottle....
And, in the 45 minutes that I spent in the living room today, I breathed in so much cigarette smoke that I've been coughing for the past 3 hours. Yes, I'm sick, but I wasn't coughing before that. And I have that terrible feeling you get in your throat from cigarette smoke...it lingers.
In other news, my sickness has morphed. I went from having a run-of-the-mill cold to something miserable. My symptoms has dwindled down to congestion and a swollen throat the other day. Now, I'm a little less congested, still not talking normally, but I'm also extremely nauseated. I haven't eaten food that has stayed in my body in 3 days now. :( I didn't eat all day today out, but then I felt a little more stable after work, so I decided to eat a sandwich. Not such a great idea. Now I'm right back where I was. *sigh* Roger told me not to die or he'd be really mad. I asked at whom and he said me, lol, for rage quitting Life. Believe me, I'm not capable of any rage at the moment (which is very unbecoming "How fine you look when dressed in rage.").
Also, it's officially cold. I disapprove of this. I have had to actually turn the air conditioner completely off. Lame.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
Ok, I'll go in order.
The Good:
Although nothing is official it appears I have found homes for all my displaced pets. Someone I know from highschool, who is moving to Florida, may be buying Chives from me. I'm going to be meeting them tomorrow and getting everything taken care of. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and she loves him as much as I have. He's not the simplest animal to take care of and it's hard to love him when you don't understand him. I'll email her a few links to websites with info on caring from him and give her everything she needs to get started.
Regina wants to take the gecko/frog/toad tank combination off my hands. I'm very pleased with that because I can always check up on them with her and know how they're doing. Plus she knows she can always call me if she has any questions. Is it bad that I feel like I need to give people lessons in order to take care of my animals? lol
*sigh* On to worse news.
Tha Bad:
Dahlia is impacted....she has been for awhile. She was given an enima - nothing. She went to the vet last Saturday. The vet put her on laculose (a laxative) and I have been giving her that everyday, along with some mineral oil and pedialite to assure she stays hydrated. She has been such a sweatheart taking her medicine from me. So many people think she is scary, but I've had a harder time with much more friendly, cuddly animals. The bad part is that she still hasn't passed the impaction, which is believed to be a sizable chunk of mulch from her substrate. The vet said that we may have to consider surgery if she doesn't pass it soon. :( There is a surgeon in Medina that is supposed to be giving me a call on Tuesday (soonest he'll be in the office). Not only am I scared that my lizard may have to undergo surgery, I'm scared of how expensive it might be. I'm trying not to think about that, b/c I'll do whatever I can to help her..... I don't know if I could handle it right now if something worse happened to her. Which brings me on to....
The Ugly:
This is the thing I've been avoiding. I wanted to wait to talk about it, because I didn't want to cry. I've teared up a little, but I'm doing ok for the moment. Last Friday night I came home to find my female bunny, Buttons, dead. She had layed down in the closest earlier in the day and I have even remarked at how cute she looked.... I think she knew she was dying and had gone to a place where she could be in relative privacy in the room. She had been facing with her head into the closet and it had looked a little like she was trying to hide. My brother and sister were actually the ones who discovered she was dead. I was glad for that, only in so much that I didn't have to deal with it on my own. I was very firmly rooted in the "denial" stage for most of the night and I don't know if I would have been able to properly determine what should be done. Deborah helped too, well, she actually did most of the helping, as far as finding something to put her in and such. I'm glad they were there and I'm glad that Roger was able to talk to me and help keep me together while I was freaking out. I'm also extremely grateful to Buttons and the way that she went about dying. I know that sounds weird, but....she did it gracefully. She layed down, she stayed somewhere where we could find her, but that she still had her privacy. Normally, if the bunnies would want to hide they would go under the bed. She certainly had that option available to her, but she decided against it. I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if she had died under the bed. I would have had to search for her and eventually move the bed in under to recover her body..... I guess that was just her way of trying to make it easier on me.
Ok, enough of that... I did the crying thing again.
The Good:
Although nothing is official it appears I have found homes for all my displaced pets. Someone I know from highschool, who is moving to Florida, may be buying Chives from me. I'm going to be meeting them tomorrow and getting everything taken care of. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and she loves him as much as I have. He's not the simplest animal to take care of and it's hard to love him when you don't understand him. I'll email her a few links to websites with info on caring from him and give her everything she needs to get started.
Regina wants to take the gecko/frog/toad tank combination off my hands. I'm very pleased with that because I can always check up on them with her and know how they're doing. Plus she knows she can always call me if she has any questions. Is it bad that I feel like I need to give people lessons in order to take care of my animals? lol
*sigh* On to worse news.
Tha Bad:
Dahlia is impacted....she has been for awhile. She was given an enima - nothing. She went to the vet last Saturday. The vet put her on laculose (a laxative) and I have been giving her that everyday, along with some mineral oil and pedialite to assure she stays hydrated. She has been such a sweatheart taking her medicine from me. So many people think she is scary, but I've had a harder time with much more friendly, cuddly animals. The bad part is that she still hasn't passed the impaction, which is believed to be a sizable chunk of mulch from her substrate. The vet said that we may have to consider surgery if she doesn't pass it soon. :( There is a surgeon in Medina that is supposed to be giving me a call on Tuesday (soonest he'll be in the office). Not only am I scared that my lizard may have to undergo surgery, I'm scared of how expensive it might be. I'm trying not to think about that, b/c I'll do whatever I can to help her..... I don't know if I could handle it right now if something worse happened to her. Which brings me on to....
The Ugly:
This is the thing I've been avoiding. I wanted to wait to talk about it, because I didn't want to cry. I've teared up a little, but I'm doing ok for the moment. Last Friday night I came home to find my female bunny, Buttons, dead. She had layed down in the closest earlier in the day and I have even remarked at how cute she looked.... I think she knew she was dying and had gone to a place where she could be in relative privacy in the room. She had been facing with her head into the closet and it had looked a little like she was trying to hide. My brother and sister were actually the ones who discovered she was dead. I was glad for that, only in so much that I didn't have to deal with it on my own. I was very firmly rooted in the "denial" stage for most of the night and I don't know if I would have been able to properly determine what should be done. Deborah helped too, well, she actually did most of the helping, as far as finding something to put her in and such. I'm glad they were there and I'm glad that Roger was able to talk to me and help keep me together while I was freaking out. I'm also extremely grateful to Buttons and the way that she went about dying. I know that sounds weird, but....she did it gracefully. She layed down, she stayed somewhere where we could find her, but that she still had her privacy. Normally, if the bunnies would want to hide they would go under the bed. She certainly had that option available to her, but she decided against it. I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if she had died under the bed. I would have had to search for her and eventually move the bed in under to recover her body..... I guess that was just her way of trying to make it easier on me.
Ok, enough of that... I did the crying thing again.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
:(
Apparently this past week planned itself out to be the most depressing fucking week ever.
I really don't care to elaborate right now. Nor do I foresee myself wanting to talk about it aloud with anyone other than Roger in the near future. I'm glad I have him. Other than that; things are terrible.
I really don't care to elaborate right now. Nor do I foresee myself wanting to talk about it aloud with anyone other than Roger in the near future. I'm glad I have him. Other than that; things are terrible.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Me & my pets
I put up a note on facebook today about getting rid of some of my pets, since we can't move them all. I know logically that they can't come. I've been planning to get rid of them. I had just been putting it off b/c it didn't seem like something I should do so soon and now that I'm finally doing it I've realized how unhappy I am about it.
Damn my incessant attachment!
It sucks. I wish my mom would have taken Chives. Then I could at least get updates on him, know he's ok and see him when we come to visit. I'm trying to really hard to not give any of them to strangers, but that doesn't always mean I'll have the opportunity to check up on them.
I know I'm being silly, but, eh.... it happens. I know that eventually they will die and I would be just as upset then.
I love animals way too much. I have stated numerous times, in all seriousness, that I would open a wildlife reserve if it was within my means.
In other animal news, I got to play vet today when I gave my 3 foot long lizard an enema. Very uhm.......interesting. Not what I'd like to do all day, lol. Truthfully though, the worst part was that I was afraid of hurting her.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Going it alone.
No one is moving with us. At first I thought it was kind of a shame, but now I'm glad for it.
Roger and I both thought we were doing something nice by offering the chance to our friends. And yeah, Mike probably needs a new start more than anyone. For Kyle it would have been an opportunity, but he will have more. The thing is that we're both so happy to be able to leave and make a real life for ourselves that I think it is hard to see that our friends aren't ready to do that yet.
But it's ok. I, for one, need to learn to live my life for myself. I need to take this time to do whatever it is that makes me happy and not worry about everyone else. (Well, I still worry about my boyfriend, but he's part of what makes me happy so that's allowed.)
I have an apartment to get, a move to plan and a life to live. And I'm incredibly happy for it. I don't care what hardship there may be involved. Moving is stressful and I stress easily, but I'll get through it. The cross-country drive is going to suck like a mother-fucker. But what is 3 or 4 days of discomfort in comparison to years of happiness??
Yeah, leaving my family is going to hurt. I love them dearly. They're pretty fucking crazy, though not in the harmful way, lol. So they often make me feel a little more centered. I worry about my siblings and how they're going to do getting through high school and such.
But I worry too much. I know I do. I can't watch over everything, for everyone. People need to cope with the hardships of life or they won't learn. I tried just telling my brother all the stuff I learned to deal with in high school, but quickly discovered that it's not just something you can be told, especially as a kid.
Yes, I worry. But I can only hope for the best and take care of myself.
Roger and I both thought we were doing something nice by offering the chance to our friends. And yeah, Mike probably needs a new start more than anyone. For Kyle it would have been an opportunity, but he will have more. The thing is that we're both so happy to be able to leave and make a real life for ourselves that I think it is hard to see that our friends aren't ready to do that yet.
But it's ok. I, for one, need to learn to live my life for myself. I need to take this time to do whatever it is that makes me happy and not worry about everyone else. (Well, I still worry about my boyfriend, but he's part of what makes me happy so that's allowed.)
I have an apartment to get, a move to plan and a life to live. And I'm incredibly happy for it. I don't care what hardship there may be involved. Moving is stressful and I stress easily, but I'll get through it. The cross-country drive is going to suck like a mother-fucker. But what is 3 or 4 days of discomfort in comparison to years of happiness??
Yeah, leaving my family is going to hurt. I love them dearly. They're pretty fucking crazy, though not in the harmful way, lol. So they often make me feel a little more centered. I worry about my siblings and how they're going to do getting through high school and such.
But I worry too much. I know I do. I can't watch over everything, for everyone. People need to cope with the hardships of life or they won't learn. I tried just telling my brother all the stuff I learned to deal with in high school, but quickly discovered that it's not just something you can be told, especially as a kid.
Yes, I worry. But I can only hope for the best and take care of myself.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Crunch time
I'm hoping to fill much of the remaining time with moving preparations.
Alot has happened and there's still alot to do. Mike is no longer coming with us. Truthfully I was worried about many of the implications of bringing him with us, but was trying to overcome them. He didn't really have the money, but he was working on it....or at least had said that he was. I really can never be quite sure. He still had issues with paying off his truck and wasn't quite sure that it would be 100% reliable if we were using it to move everything.
Well, whatever. There were a lot of complications, but if Mike decided he can't go that's all there is to it. The fucked up part is that he never told us, technically he still hasn't told us. I asked his girlfriend about his plans (in what I intended to be a casual manner) only to find out that they weren't quite what we had been told. I feel kind of bad now that she had to tell me when I know she didn't want to get in the middle of things, but I'm grateful that she did. I had been trying to discuss things with Mike for the last 2 weeks (at least) and he had been continually blowing me off. At first I attributed this to him wanting to spend time with his girlfriend, which I gladly gave him space to do, but then he continued to ignore me even when he wasn't busy and she was at work. I was trying not to barge in on his "couple time", but he immediately stopped responding to me once I mentioned anything about getting together or talking at all. I thought it was rude, but not entirely out of character for Mike.
So, after having spoken with his girlfriend I talked to Roger. It was apparent that Mike was ignoring us b/c he wanted to think of some excuse for why he couldn't come. I even suggested that maybe Roger just tell him has was no longer welcome; that would alleviate his stress over coming up with some bullshit reason. Roger decided to talk to him about the whole thing. It should have been easier since he didn't have to break it to us himself. Roger called him: no response. He texted him: no response. Left a message: no response. Numerous attempts at all of this, and nothing. So Roger calls his mom, in a well-deserved low blow, to find out what was going on. She confirmed what we already knew; Mike no longer wanted to come, but was being too much of a pussy to just tell us. Then Roger talked to Josh. Even Josh knew what was going on! To me that in itself is just a slap in the face.
Now that we knew everything and still hadn't talked to Mike Roger kind of started to send him some defamatory text messages. A little below the belt, but nothing he didn't deserve. When Mike finally decided he would do us the honor of responding, he still denied the allegations. Ouch.
So, whatever. After some back and forth Roger eventually texted him and said that we needed a decision and didn't care what it was. No response.
So, we extended the invitation to Kyle. We had kind of mentioned it to him before, but seeing as how we already had a full house the offer hadn't been a big thing. I feel bad throwing it on him all of the sudden, but we do need to know what's going on ASAP. I know he doesn't want to burden us by coming along without a job lined up, but I also know that it's difficult to secure a job from across the country, especially if you have to tell any potential employers that you aren't going to be available for another 2 months. Yeah, it's a tough situation, but he's supposed to try to sort things out by the end of this week or so. Hopefully we can solidify some things by then. No pressure..... lol.
I'm going to have to figure out my apartment situation in the next 2 weeks or so - MAX. The really big ordeal now is going to be figuring out the physical move itself, without Mike and his truck coming with us. I'm going to have to crunch some numbers and see what I can come up with. Also, we actually have to apply for an apartment.... *sigh* Most of the info I've read says that they require credit checks as well as proof of income. Well, I have the decent credit and Roger has the good job. So I'm not exactly sure how we're going to get through the application process.
On top of all this I've put my GRE studies on the back burner, which I'm not happy to admit. I really need to get things on track. I've been working way more than I need or want to and it's been taking it's toll. My little mini-vacation here has been amazing and definitely helpful in clearing my mind, but in a few short days it's back to the grind. The only relief is the approaching deadlines, as well as my approaching end of my current employment. I'm not exactly sure why deadlines are relief to me, I'm just more comfortable working to deadlines than anything else. Long live procrastination.
Alot has happened and there's still alot to do. Mike is no longer coming with us. Truthfully I was worried about many of the implications of bringing him with us, but was trying to overcome them. He didn't really have the money, but he was working on it....or at least had said that he was. I really can never be quite sure. He still had issues with paying off his truck and wasn't quite sure that it would be 100% reliable if we were using it to move everything.
Well, whatever. There were a lot of complications, but if Mike decided he can't go that's all there is to it. The fucked up part is that he never told us, technically he still hasn't told us. I asked his girlfriend about his plans (in what I intended to be a casual manner) only to find out that they weren't quite what we had been told. I feel kind of bad now that she had to tell me when I know she didn't want to get in the middle of things, but I'm grateful that she did. I had been trying to discuss things with Mike for the last 2 weeks (at least) and he had been continually blowing me off. At first I attributed this to him wanting to spend time with his girlfriend, which I gladly gave him space to do, but then he continued to ignore me even when he wasn't busy and she was at work. I was trying not to barge in on his "couple time", but he immediately stopped responding to me once I mentioned anything about getting together or talking at all. I thought it was rude, but not entirely out of character for Mike.
So, after having spoken with his girlfriend I talked to Roger. It was apparent that Mike was ignoring us b/c he wanted to think of some excuse for why he couldn't come. I even suggested that maybe Roger just tell him has was no longer welcome; that would alleviate his stress over coming up with some bullshit reason. Roger decided to talk to him about the whole thing. It should have been easier since he didn't have to break it to us himself. Roger called him: no response. He texted him: no response. Left a message: no response. Numerous attempts at all of this, and nothing. So Roger calls his mom, in a well-deserved low blow, to find out what was going on. She confirmed what we already knew; Mike no longer wanted to come, but was being too much of a pussy to just tell us. Then Roger talked to Josh. Even Josh knew what was going on! To me that in itself is just a slap in the face.
Now that we knew everything and still hadn't talked to Mike Roger kind of started to send him some defamatory text messages. A little below the belt, but nothing he didn't deserve. When Mike finally decided he would do us the honor of responding, he still denied the allegations. Ouch.
So, whatever. After some back and forth Roger eventually texted him and said that we needed a decision and didn't care what it was. No response.
So, we extended the invitation to Kyle. We had kind of mentioned it to him before, but seeing as how we already had a full house the offer hadn't been a big thing. I feel bad throwing it on him all of the sudden, but we do need to know what's going on ASAP. I know he doesn't want to burden us by coming along without a job lined up, but I also know that it's difficult to secure a job from across the country, especially if you have to tell any potential employers that you aren't going to be available for another 2 months. Yeah, it's a tough situation, but he's supposed to try to sort things out by the end of this week or so. Hopefully we can solidify some things by then. No pressure..... lol.
I'm going to have to figure out my apartment situation in the next 2 weeks or so - MAX. The really big ordeal now is going to be figuring out the physical move itself, without Mike and his truck coming with us. I'm going to have to crunch some numbers and see what I can come up with. Also, we actually have to apply for an apartment.... *sigh* Most of the info I've read says that they require credit checks as well as proof of income. Well, I have the decent credit and Roger has the good job. So I'm not exactly sure how we're going to get through the application process.
On top of all this I've put my GRE studies on the back burner, which I'm not happy to admit. I really need to get things on track. I've been working way more than I need or want to and it's been taking it's toll. My little mini-vacation here has been amazing and definitely helpful in clearing my mind, but in a few short days it's back to the grind. The only relief is the approaching deadlines, as well as my approaching end of my current employment. I'm not exactly sure why deadlines are relief to me, I'm just more comfortable working to deadlines than anything else. Long live procrastination.
A brief glimpse of bliss
This week has been most joyous. :)
I'm in Mew Mexico. I arrived on Wednesday and Roger graduated on Thursday. I got to spend all of the 3-day, holiday weekend with him and couldn't be happier.
I won't be leaving until early Wednesday morning, however he has classes all day tomorrow. I'll see him tomorrow evening and then will have to say goodbye once again. I'm incredibly happy that I've been able to see him and spend time with him. It just sucks that once I leave I'm not going to see him for another 2 months. I know everything will be fine, but it doesn't mean I like it. Despite missing him all the time I had kind of grown accustomed to his pseudo-perpetual absence. Now my detachment must begin anew. *sigh*
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
OCD #3
Public restrooms.
Now, it would be considered normal if I refused to use public restrooms, a lot of people have a problem with them. But I'm not paranoid that they're full or germs, nor am I going to refuse to actually sit on the toilet in an effort to perfect hover pissing. I'm just weird.
In a public restroom I have conflicting interests. First, I have to go into a bathroom that at least appears to be relatively sanitary. I'm not delusional about my options, I just can't have shit (literally or figuratively) all over the place in my stall. However, this need is often complicated by my strange desire to go into the least lit stall. I think it has something to do with the fact that bathrooms are often lit far too brightly, in an initial attempt to make them appear cleaner, and I seek to avoid this brightness. However, it makes it difficult for me to accurately assess the cleanliness of a stall when there is less light. Thus, my dilemma.
This concludes today's episode of me writing about inane shit that nobody ever wanted to know. :)
Now, it would be considered normal if I refused to use public restrooms, a lot of people have a problem with them. But I'm not paranoid that they're full or germs, nor am I going to refuse to actually sit on the toilet in an effort to perfect hover pissing. I'm just weird.
In a public restroom I have conflicting interests. First, I have to go into a bathroom that at least appears to be relatively sanitary. I'm not delusional about my options, I just can't have shit (literally or figuratively) all over the place in my stall. However, this need is often complicated by my strange desire to go into the least lit stall. I think it has something to do with the fact that bathrooms are often lit far too brightly, in an initial attempt to make them appear cleaner, and I seek to avoid this brightness. However, it makes it difficult for me to accurately assess the cleanliness of a stall when there is less light. Thus, my dilemma.
This concludes today's episode of me writing about inane shit that nobody ever wanted to know. :)
Monday, July 27, 2009
How come I only remember my dreams when they're fucked up?
I just had a dream that I killed myself. Although it wasn't in a suicide sort of way.
I started off as myself. In the dream I don't recall having a reason to kill myself, but I somehow decided that shooting myself in the head sounded like a good idea. I shot myself twice in the head and vividly remember still being quite conscious after the first shot. The second one killed me instantly though. Yet, the moment I was dead I stepped out of my body. I don't know if I was supposed to be a ghost or what the fuck it was, but I walked right out into the living room and told my mom I had killed myself. I realized immediately that I had made a big mistake because I was very upset about it.
Somehow a shift was made in my dream from me being the victim to being the murderer. My mom was talking to me calmly about how I needed to make it look like the girl I killed had committed suicide. (Dreams don't usually make sense...I know this part definitely doesn't.) For some god awful reason I took 3 pictures of the dead body, which was lying in the bathroom. Two were of the body itself, which was naked and the third was a close-up of the face.
At this point in time I wasn't feeling that the dead person was me. I was feeling the I was still alive and needed to figure out how to cover up a murder. Apparently the girl I had killed was in the military because we decided to make it look like she had killed herself b/c of that. It's very difficult to put clothes on a dead body, but I managed to put her in her uniform before the cops showed up. I don't know if they were called or the shots had been heard, they were just there all of the sudden.
Apparently, in my dream, I had a 35mm camera. I think this is the case because I was unable to delete the pictures I had taken and this was what I though was going to incriminate me. I ended up hiding the camera behind the house on a strange hill somewhere.
Details in this part become a little unclear. I know that I wasn't immediately a suspect because I was allowed to drive somewhere, but had to come right back. When I came back there were police looking around where I had hidden the camera, but somehow they hadn't actually found it yet.
Eventually I think I went back and got the camera myself, although it was supposed to be the next day by the time I did. I think I went back so that I could properly dispose of it, but I had to hurry to some meeting where one of the girls that was working on the case saw me with it. I could tell that she knew I was trying to hide it, but she starting asking me about it as though I had just come to bring them this important piece of evidence I'd found. Obviously, I had to pretend that was the case as well, so I let her look at the camera. She pulled the film out and was able to see the pictures off of it. Somehow the police had taken all their photo evidence of the body on my camera as well so I was hoping that nobody wold realize some of the pictures had been taken by me before the cops showed up.
Most of the dream during these parts was concentrated on how upset I was becoming over the whole thing. I wanted to get away with it, but I already regretted killing somebody. I was starting to think that if I already was bothered by the fact that I had murdered someone that I might not be able to live with myself if I actually managed to get away with it. For some reason I sat around and moped in police presence. Maybe I was trying to convince them I was grieving.
The fucked up part is that when I finally saw the police looking through the pictures they were of me. Not only that, but I had made the conscious decision when I was about to shoot myself in the head that I needed to smile while doing it. So the pictures of me barely looked like I was dead at all, considering I've never seen a dead body smiling before. I looked as though I had been about to take a picture of myself, not shoot myself. (This is a little weird too, because I have previously analogies in my head between shooting photography and shooting a gun. Maybe this is why I shoot pictures the body? They could have represented me shooting it. Idk.)
I think I woke up after this, as there doesn't seem to be any conclusion. I'm surprised I remembered this much. Dreams are usually gone for me the moment I become conscious.
Fucking weird.
I started off as myself. In the dream I don't recall having a reason to kill myself, but I somehow decided that shooting myself in the head sounded like a good idea. I shot myself twice in the head and vividly remember still being quite conscious after the first shot. The second one killed me instantly though. Yet, the moment I was dead I stepped out of my body. I don't know if I was supposed to be a ghost or what the fuck it was, but I walked right out into the living room and told my mom I had killed myself. I realized immediately that I had made a big mistake because I was very upset about it.
Somehow a shift was made in my dream from me being the victim to being the murderer. My mom was talking to me calmly about how I needed to make it look like the girl I killed had committed suicide. (Dreams don't usually make sense...I know this part definitely doesn't.) For some god awful reason I took 3 pictures of the dead body, which was lying in the bathroom. Two were of the body itself, which was naked and the third was a close-up of the face.
At this point in time I wasn't feeling that the dead person was me. I was feeling the I was still alive and needed to figure out how to cover up a murder. Apparently the girl I had killed was in the military because we decided to make it look like she had killed herself b/c of that. It's very difficult to put clothes on a dead body, but I managed to put her in her uniform before the cops showed up. I don't know if they were called or the shots had been heard, they were just there all of the sudden.
Apparently, in my dream, I had a 35mm camera. I think this is the case because I was unable to delete the pictures I had taken and this was what I though was going to incriminate me. I ended up hiding the camera behind the house on a strange hill somewhere.
Details in this part become a little unclear. I know that I wasn't immediately a suspect because I was allowed to drive somewhere, but had to come right back. When I came back there were police looking around where I had hidden the camera, but somehow they hadn't actually found it yet.
Eventually I think I went back and got the camera myself, although it was supposed to be the next day by the time I did. I think I went back so that I could properly dispose of it, but I had to hurry to some meeting where one of the girls that was working on the case saw me with it. I could tell that she knew I was trying to hide it, but she starting asking me about it as though I had just come to bring them this important piece of evidence I'd found. Obviously, I had to pretend that was the case as well, so I let her look at the camera. She pulled the film out and was able to see the pictures off of it. Somehow the police had taken all their photo evidence of the body on my camera as well so I was hoping that nobody wold realize some of the pictures had been taken by me before the cops showed up.
Most of the dream during these parts was concentrated on how upset I was becoming over the whole thing. I wanted to get away with it, but I already regretted killing somebody. I was starting to think that if I already was bothered by the fact that I had murdered someone that I might not be able to live with myself if I actually managed to get away with it. For some reason I sat around and moped in police presence. Maybe I was trying to convince them I was grieving.
The fucked up part is that when I finally saw the police looking through the pictures they were of me. Not only that, but I had made the conscious decision when I was about to shoot myself in the head that I needed to smile while doing it. So the pictures of me barely looked like I was dead at all, considering I've never seen a dead body smiling before. I looked as though I had been about to take a picture of myself, not shoot myself. (This is a little weird too, because I have previously analogies in my head between shooting photography and shooting a gun. Maybe this is why I shoot pictures the body? They could have represented me shooting it. Idk.)
I think I woke up after this, as there doesn't seem to be any conclusion. I'm surprised I remembered this much. Dreams are usually gone for me the moment I become conscious.
Fucking weird.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Howdy Motherfuckers
Also, when I move to California I'm going to wear cowboy boots and skirts. No questions asked. End of story.
Anti-Steeler "Nation"
I swear if I move ALL the fucking way to California and people there STILL like the Pittsburgh Steelers I'm going to vomit on some skank's $1,000 stilettos.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Zzzzzzzz.....
I have been so tired lately. I have no idea why. I what to get up and do things and get out of the house, but I've been so tired. I've been sleeping in when I can, but I think work + going to the gym as much as possible + not having any caffeine is REALLY starting to take it's toll on me.
OMFG.
OMFG.
Tentativity!
While I'm anxious to go it seems I have a lot of planning to do. Some things can't be done yet, but some I feel I might be behind on....
As of now it looks like Roger is going to be to take a flight directly from Artesia to Erie after his training. This is providing his request for leave to move is granted, but there isn't any real reason it shouldn't be. By my count he should be ending training on October 30th. They told him he can either pay for his own flight to leave, or wait 1 extra day and get a free flight. I'm not sure what days those are though, like if it will be that weekend, immediately following the end of class or not. I don't see why they would want to keep them there any longer, unless it has something to do with getting cheaper flights on a weekday (it is the gov't, we know they're cheap). If he goes with the free flight option not only is his flight free, but his leave time doesn't start ticking until the day after his flight/"travel day". So, technically he gets a free day and a free flight by taking that route. A+ in my book.
He should be getting about 10 days to move. If we know what day he is going to be coming back on we could technically have already gotten a trailer and have pretty much everything packed when he gets here. That mostly depends on necessity, whether or not he wants to stay and visit a bit and how long we are estimating our trip will take.
Mike needs to make sure that his truck is capable of making a drive to California. I know he mentioned a little bit of worry about that and having the vehicle that is towing all of our belongings break down during our move is simply not an acceptable possibility. Mike also has to finish paying off his truck and his fines and somehow have money left to help pay for the move and help me put a down payment on an apartment. :-/
Speaking of apartments, I need to have one secured at least 2 months in advance. Which means that I should already know where we're going to be living by the beginning of September. Eek gads. It's too early to start looking now, but I don't know what exactly I should do. :(
Roger's graduation is also in the beginning of September. He actually graduates before going through the Spanish portion of the academy, I guess they're considered completely separate things. People who have already demonstrated fluency in Spanish do not have the stay the additional 2 months. Not only did he want me to come down to see him, I want to go down to see him and he'd like me to come to his graduation. That puts me in New Mexico around Sept.2nd. Not sure how that is going to work yet. Once again, it's a little too early to look for tickets. Although I have learned that car rentals are ridiculous. I'm not sure how this is going to work at all.
As far as the actual move goes, once we find out about Mike's truck, I need to determine what size trailer we need versus what size trailer Mike's truck is able to hold. If neither of those things coincide, or if Mike's truck isn't going to be making the trip, then I will most likely have to start looking into how much it is to have some of those fancy moving guys come move the big stuff for us. I might also be able to have some things shipped, depending on which is cheaper. I expect neither shall be. But, then again, neither would hauling a u-haul + gas.
Oh. And I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. I have this idea in my head that I'm going to grad school. In fact, this idea is so tightly lodged in my head that I don't know what I will be doing with myself if this doesn't end up happening. I need to know whether or not I'm going, b/c if I am it would only make sense for me to get an apartment somewhere in between campus and Roger's station.
I haven't even started studying for my GRE yet. I haven't registered to take it. I haven't contacted the department for the school I plan to apply with. I made the first step today: I purchased a GRE study guide. The smallest, cheapest GRE study guide that is likely in existence. Mostly because I'm not sure whether or not I'll need it. I'm not a genius. But I'm not dumb. I know that studying has never really worked for me. If the knowledge isn't in my head then it's not going to be implanted in there by simple means, for the sake of one test. I'm going to do some practice tests and see what areas I may be lacking in. If there is anything terrible then I will concentrate on it. If not, I need to register to take the test. But first I have to find out how to get my fee waived, and it looks like I have to go through the financial aid office at Behrend for that. I'll have to contact them, b/c the information on the GRE website isn't very helpful. I just know that I don't have $150 to shell out for a computerized test. If that's not a scam I don't know what is. But when you have a monopoly you can charge whatever you fucking want.
So, GRE and Grad school application process really need to get underway. I've been wasting time worrying about money and maybe getting a second job, when what I probably should be doing is walling myself up in my room and scamming my ass off. I've look at UCSD's stats. My GPA alone certainly isn't going to get my in. I need something substantial to back me up, otherwise I don't stand a chance. I didn't initially realize how selective and prestigious that university is. I wasn't looking for selective. I really don't care. But to the best of my knowledge, it's the only school in the area with a program for my study area and therefore I'm stuck busting my ass. I certainly never busted my ass to get into college. And I can only recall some moments of working hard while being in college. For a lifetime slacker, I've sure got my work cut out for me.
As of now it looks like Roger is going to be to take a flight directly from Artesia to Erie after his training. This is providing his request for leave to move is granted, but there isn't any real reason it shouldn't be. By my count he should be ending training on October 30th. They told him he can either pay for his own flight to leave, or wait 1 extra day and get a free flight. I'm not sure what days those are though, like if it will be that weekend, immediately following the end of class or not. I don't see why they would want to keep them there any longer, unless it has something to do with getting cheaper flights on a weekday (it is the gov't, we know they're cheap). If he goes with the free flight option not only is his flight free, but his leave time doesn't start ticking until the day after his flight/"travel day". So, technically he gets a free day and a free flight by taking that route. A+ in my book.
He should be getting about 10 days to move. If we know what day he is going to be coming back on we could technically have already gotten a trailer and have pretty much everything packed when he gets here. That mostly depends on necessity, whether or not he wants to stay and visit a bit and how long we are estimating our trip will take.
Mike needs to make sure that his truck is capable of making a drive to California. I know he mentioned a little bit of worry about that and having the vehicle that is towing all of our belongings break down during our move is simply not an acceptable possibility. Mike also has to finish paying off his truck and his fines and somehow have money left to help pay for the move and help me put a down payment on an apartment. :-/
Speaking of apartments, I need to have one secured at least 2 months in advance. Which means that I should already know where we're going to be living by the beginning of September. Eek gads. It's too early to start looking now, but I don't know what exactly I should do. :(
Roger's graduation is also in the beginning of September. He actually graduates before going through the Spanish portion of the academy, I guess they're considered completely separate things. People who have already demonstrated fluency in Spanish do not have the stay the additional 2 months. Not only did he want me to come down to see him, I want to go down to see him and he'd like me to come to his graduation. That puts me in New Mexico around Sept.2nd. Not sure how that is going to work yet. Once again, it's a little too early to look for tickets. Although I have learned that car rentals are ridiculous. I'm not sure how this is going to work at all.
As far as the actual move goes, once we find out about Mike's truck, I need to determine what size trailer we need versus what size trailer Mike's truck is able to hold. If neither of those things coincide, or if Mike's truck isn't going to be making the trip, then I will most likely have to start looking into how much it is to have some of those fancy moving guys come move the big stuff for us. I might also be able to have some things shipped, depending on which is cheaper. I expect neither shall be. But, then again, neither would hauling a u-haul + gas.
Oh. And I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. I have this idea in my head that I'm going to grad school. In fact, this idea is so tightly lodged in my head that I don't know what I will be doing with myself if this doesn't end up happening. I need to know whether or not I'm going, b/c if I am it would only make sense for me to get an apartment somewhere in between campus and Roger's station.
I haven't even started studying for my GRE yet. I haven't registered to take it. I haven't contacted the department for the school I plan to apply with. I made the first step today: I purchased a GRE study guide. The smallest, cheapest GRE study guide that is likely in existence. Mostly because I'm not sure whether or not I'll need it. I'm not a genius. But I'm not dumb. I know that studying has never really worked for me. If the knowledge isn't in my head then it's not going to be implanted in there by simple means, for the sake of one test. I'm going to do some practice tests and see what areas I may be lacking in. If there is anything terrible then I will concentrate on it. If not, I need to register to take the test. But first I have to find out how to get my fee waived, and it looks like I have to go through the financial aid office at Behrend for that. I'll have to contact them, b/c the information on the GRE website isn't very helpful. I just know that I don't have $150 to shell out for a computerized test. If that's not a scam I don't know what is. But when you have a monopoly you can charge whatever you fucking want.
So, GRE and Grad school application process really need to get underway. I've been wasting time worrying about money and maybe getting a second job, when what I probably should be doing is walling myself up in my room and scamming my ass off. I've look at UCSD's stats. My GPA alone certainly isn't going to get my in. I need something substantial to back me up, otherwise I don't stand a chance. I didn't initially realize how selective and prestigious that university is. I wasn't looking for selective. I really don't care. But to the best of my knowledge, it's the only school in the area with a program for my study area and therefore I'm stuck busting my ass. I certainly never busted my ass to get into college. And I can only recall some moments of working hard while being in college. For a lifetime slacker, I've sure got my work cut out for me.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
OCD....
It's possible I may be a little OCD. I never noticed it myself, but it has been brought up on a few occasions and it is being drawn more to my attention lately. The problem is that I can never remember the compulsive things I do, even when they are brought to my attention. So I'm going to begin writing them down....or typing them out as it would be.
Compulsion #1: Tapping
This is something I've been doing since highschool, probably earlier. I tap on things. Mostly with my fingers/nails, but always in rhythm. This goes beyond the normal tapping-along-on-the-steering-wheel-in-the-car (though I'm quite skilled at that as well). If my hands are occupied for some reason I tap with my feet. In high school I did this so much during Chemistry class that I actually taught myself to tap different rhythms, simultaneously, with each foot. At work, I must tap on things as I walk past them; boxes, stands, counters, displays - whatever is within reach. I often even try to tap a rhythm on succesive items as I'm walking past them. If the turn signal in my car is on while I'm waiting at a light, I even have to tap a filler rhythm to work into the steady sound of the blinker. I almost never sit still without tapping on something, most often a desk. If I'm sitting at the computer it isn't as bad, b/c I' generally typing. However, if I have my hands on the keyboard, b/c I'm attempting to think of what I'm trying to write I will tap on the keys in rapid patterns. Though it isn't my intent, people often look when I'm doing this b/c it sounds as though I am typing at lightning speed. Yeah....it's bad.
Compulsion #2: Shaving
This one isn't nearly as big, but I was talking to my mom about it today and she brought up how odd it was. I hate shaving my legs. It's just annoying and time-consuming. However, I have an even greater despise for feeling my legs when they are stubbly. If I have gone more than a few days without shaving, and my legs brush together in bed, I CANNOT sleep. I either must put on full length PJ pants or immediately get up and shave my legs. It drives me insane.
That's it for now, since those are the ones that were discussed today. I know there are many more. I'll attempt to document them as my come to my attention.
Compulsion #1: Tapping
This is something I've been doing since highschool, probably earlier. I tap on things. Mostly with my fingers/nails, but always in rhythm. This goes beyond the normal tapping-along-on-the-steering-wheel-in-the-car (though I'm quite skilled at that as well). If my hands are occupied for some reason I tap with my feet. In high school I did this so much during Chemistry class that I actually taught myself to tap different rhythms, simultaneously, with each foot. At work, I must tap on things as I walk past them; boxes, stands, counters, displays - whatever is within reach. I often even try to tap a rhythm on succesive items as I'm walking past them. If the turn signal in my car is on while I'm waiting at a light, I even have to tap a filler rhythm to work into the steady sound of the blinker. I almost never sit still without tapping on something, most often a desk. If I'm sitting at the computer it isn't as bad, b/c I' generally typing. However, if I have my hands on the keyboard, b/c I'm attempting to think of what I'm trying to write I will tap on the keys in rapid patterns. Though it isn't my intent, people often look when I'm doing this b/c it sounds as though I am typing at lightning speed. Yeah....it's bad.
Compulsion #2: Shaving
This one isn't nearly as big, but I was talking to my mom about it today and she brought up how odd it was. I hate shaving my legs. It's just annoying and time-consuming. However, I have an even greater despise for feeling my legs when they are stubbly. If I have gone more than a few days without shaving, and my legs brush together in bed, I CANNOT sleep. I either must put on full length PJ pants or immediately get up and shave my legs. It drives me insane.
That's it for now, since those are the ones that were discussed today. I know there are many more. I'll attempt to document them as my come to my attention.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
With minimal objections to my sanity....
(or what the kitten has titled: ;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p)
I have a kitten. grrr. meow. Ouch, mother fucker, why am I continuously being climbed?!
Ok, as you may or may not be aware, I am a complete sucker for animals. Not only am I the type who thinks they're adorable, I'm also the type how wants to take them in, and care for them, and the type who gets pissed when people are not treating their own animals properly.
I found an adorable kitten outside my gramma's house a few days ago. My gramma begins to freak out about calling the shelter and how somebody is dumping poor cats in her neighborhood, yatta, yatta, yatta. I love my gramma, and she's an amazingly caring woman, but she is greatly prone to anxiety, over-talking and repeating herself....repeatedly. I decide to just take it home. It was cute and, once again, I'm a sucker.
So now, the kitten is living in my room for the moment. I didn't want to throw it into the rest of the house b/c there are many other animals and it is still rather defensive. So now, not only is there a mini cat litter box in my room (gross!), but the other cats are all freaking. I made a secondary mistake of pitying the rest of the cats in the house. They don't get fed - properly or enough - and I don't fucking agree with this. Despite my wont to do it myself, I do not have the money tp keep it up. I've been feeding them for a week or so, but now every cat in the house thinks that it is my cat. Every time my door opens and I attempt to exit the room I have cat frantically running into my legs to get inside. I've gotten to the point where I put food in the livingroom, just to get them out of my room. I don't want them to be scared of me, but I have to keep throwing them out and I feel bad. Once again: SUCKER.
Oh, did I mention there is also a cat living on our porch? Which I am feeding. He's actually the reason I bought a bag of cat food to begin with. Now all the other cats are hogs (which I can't really blame them for going bonkers over food, when they barely get any) and I don't have food for the cats that primarily need it. The fact is that the cats here DO get fed....sometimes, I'm pretty sure. But the cat on the porch doesn't, nor does the kitten, unless I isolate her from the greedy cats.
It has gotten to the point where I really wish I hadn't started feeding them b/c they are driving me fucking insane. OMFG.I think I just have to stop. I will feed my cats, which including the new kitten there are 3 of, and my bunnies. Oh, and my lizards. And the hedgehog. Yeah..... I think I've got too much on my plate already. Grrr.
The kitten doesn't have a name yet. It probably should get one relatively soon, seeing as how it appears she will be staying. Any suggestions?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Ramble...
I should probably write more; it would help.
Roger's gone. Well, he's in New Mexico at training now. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but that isn't working so great. I've managed to impose a false sense of urgency on myself by making myself clean and organize things every day since he's left. The problem with this is that it needs to be done, but it's not of the utmost importance, and I have begun to stress myself out by trying to keep myself busy in order to keep my mind off things. *sigh*
The good news is that I managed to replace the power supply on my computer (all by my lonesome) and now my computer is working again. Hopefully I can convince myself to sit back and watch a movie and just chill for a bit.
I had my interview at Career Concepts. I told them I wouldn't accept a job that paid less than $9.50/hr. I'm not making quite that much right now, but it has to be enough to get me to leave bby. Despite my despise for the place and [most of] the people, it pays decent; especially for the minimal amount of work I do most days and the frequent lack of supervision I have. I like being left alone. That's a hard thing to find in a work environment though. It's also one of the many reasons I loved working at Snap-Tite long ago: 2nd shift w/ 2 other ppl and no supervisors - I was in heaven. We didn't slack off. I'm not aiming to have a job I can get away with slacking off at, I'm aiming to have a job where ppl aren't trying to crawl up my ass bitching 24-fucking-7.
I may have an interview to work for the city. The chic from Career Concepts is supposed to be setting up an interview for me. It's basically and secretary job, but it only pays $8/hr. I almost don't even want to consider it, but then bby will go and do something else to piss me off. My tendency changes day-to-day. I don't want to work 8-5 shift M-F either. But it's hours, and hours means money. And we all know how much bullshit that is. Supposedly, if you start working at this place as a temp and they like you, you can hurry up and take the civil service exam (which I was gonna do anyway) and get hired for real. I don't know how much it pays then though. I kinda want to have my bby discount still when we move and need new shit.
Anywho. The biggest challenge in my life this week (other than fixing the comp) was figuring out a way I could run the air conditioner and my computer at the same time with blowing a circuit. It blew like 3 times in one day and I was pretty aggravated. I now have my computer on an extension cord to the outlet across the room. So far this has fixed the problem. Hopefully it can be a permanent solution.
I would like to add that my family is awesome. I don't usually get to spend much time with any of them because I was always busy, but I've been trying to a little more lately and now that Roger is away they've all been trying to keep me busy and give me something to do . It's helping a little.
I'm annoyed about the available friend-type options I have left for time-occupation, but I'll get into that later. I'm trying to decide if I should go to bed now and get up early to go to the gym before work. The 1 and only advantage of going to the gym in the morning: if you're already in that habit you are not effected by the shitty lack of hours on the weekend. I usually go to the gym at night, but they close at 10 on Fridays (so I can only go if I'm not working), 5 on Saturdays and 1 on Sundays. Seriously. What the fuck is that shit?
The car is up for sale. I need to get rid of it. I also need the money to get Roger's car inspected.
Roger's gone. Well, he's in New Mexico at training now. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but that isn't working so great. I've managed to impose a false sense of urgency on myself by making myself clean and organize things every day since he's left. The problem with this is that it needs to be done, but it's not of the utmost importance, and I have begun to stress myself out by trying to keep myself busy in order to keep my mind off things. *sigh*
The good news is that I managed to replace the power supply on my computer (all by my lonesome) and now my computer is working again. Hopefully I can convince myself to sit back and watch a movie and just chill for a bit.
I had my interview at Career Concepts. I told them I wouldn't accept a job that paid less than $9.50/hr. I'm not making quite that much right now, but it has to be enough to get me to leave bby. Despite my despise for the place and [most of] the people, it pays decent; especially for the minimal amount of work I do most days and the frequent lack of supervision I have. I like being left alone. That's a hard thing to find in a work environment though. It's also one of the many reasons I loved working at Snap-Tite long ago: 2nd shift w/ 2 other ppl and no supervisors - I was in heaven. We didn't slack off. I'm not aiming to have a job I can get away with slacking off at, I'm aiming to have a job where ppl aren't trying to crawl up my ass bitching 24-fucking-7.
I may have an interview to work for the city. The chic from Career Concepts is supposed to be setting up an interview for me. It's basically and secretary job, but it only pays $8/hr. I almost don't even want to consider it, but then bby will go and do something else to piss me off. My tendency changes day-to-day. I don't want to work 8-5 shift M-F either. But it's hours, and hours means money. And we all know how much bullshit that is. Supposedly, if you start working at this place as a temp and they like you, you can hurry up and take the civil service exam (which I was gonna do anyway) and get hired for real. I don't know how much it pays then though. I kinda want to have my bby discount still when we move and need new shit.
Anywho. The biggest challenge in my life this week (other than fixing the comp) was figuring out a way I could run the air conditioner and my computer at the same time with blowing a circuit. It blew like 3 times in one day and I was pretty aggravated. I now have my computer on an extension cord to the outlet across the room. So far this has fixed the problem. Hopefully it can be a permanent solution.
I would like to add that my family is awesome. I don't usually get to spend much time with any of them because I was always busy, but I've been trying to a little more lately and now that Roger is away they've all been trying to keep me busy and give me something to do . It's helping a little.
I'm annoyed about the available friend-type options I have left for time-occupation, but I'll get into that later. I'm trying to decide if I should go to bed now and get up early to go to the gym before work. The 1 and only advantage of going to the gym in the morning: if you're already in that habit you are not effected by the shitty lack of hours on the weekend. I usually go to the gym at night, but they close at 10 on Fridays (so I can only go if I'm not working), 5 on Saturdays and 1 on Sundays. Seriously. What the fuck is that shit?
The car is up for sale. I need to get rid of it. I also need the money to get Roger's car inspected.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Updates mostly
I'm driving Roger to the airport in Pgh on the 12th now. We originally thought he would be flying out of Erie, but we couldn't get a ticket for any of those flights. Kyle is possibly going to tag along for the ride, mostly so that I don't have to drive home by myself.
I have a meeting with some chic at Career Concepts next week to see if they might be able to find me a position related to either of my majors. It may only be for the next few months, but it would look worse for me to graduate college with 2 bachelor's degrees and not even attempt to get into either field.
For now, I have a bunch of hours at BBY and things aren't too bad. The people there that hate me are now pretending to be nice to me. Whatever, it doesn't make a difference other than making work a little easier if I have to deal with them. No word yet on whether the 2 day training in Ohio is mandatory or not. Even if it's not, I might go anyway. Out of town trainings were always pretty chill in my old district, they would give out prizes and such, plus you get reimbursed for gas and paid for the whole time you're there and driving there. I wonder how it works though if you stay overnight..... I highly doubt I would get paid to sleep.
I should go get my oil changed. I have work in 2 hours and need to sell my car next week.
I have a meeting with some chic at Career Concepts next week to see if they might be able to find me a position related to either of my majors. It may only be for the next few months, but it would look worse for me to graduate college with 2 bachelor's degrees and not even attempt to get into either field.
For now, I have a bunch of hours at BBY and things aren't too bad. The people there that hate me are now pretending to be nice to me. Whatever, it doesn't make a difference other than making work a little easier if I have to deal with them. No word yet on whether the 2 day training in Ohio is mandatory or not. Even if it's not, I might go anyway. Out of town trainings were always pretty chill in my old district, they would give out prizes and such, plus you get reimbursed for gas and paid for the whole time you're there and driving there. I wonder how it works though if you stay overnight..... I highly doubt I would get paid to sleep.
I should go get my oil changed. I have work in 2 hours and need to sell my car next week.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I could use a little PATIENCE
I wish it had happened sooner, but at least we're not still waiting.
Roger is leaving on June 13th to go to Cali and then training in New Mexico for 5 months. I wish I was leaving that sooner too, though I don't envy him the heat he's going to have to endure during training.
As for me, I'm stuck. I get to pack and clean and plan a life in a place I have never seen. I'll be looking online for apartments I won't be able to see in neighborhoods that I'll have to call other people to ask about. I know if there a neighborhoods you want to avoid in a place as small as Erie that there are only going to be worse neighborhoods in a place as big as San Diego, and I'm sure all the seemingly cheap places to live will be in those places.
Also, during this time I need to keep a decent job so I can live, of course. But I need to take my GREs.... and start the lengthy, painful application process for grad school. I'm probably going to take advantage of my lack of anything to do by actually studying a little for the GRE before I sign up to take it. To the best of my knowledge there is only one university in the San Diego area that has a graduate program in political philosophy: University of California at San Diego. I really don't have a clue how exclusive the program may or may not be, but I don't want to miss my only chance. I'd also like to do good enough that I can be eligible for funding or even a fellowship, although I admittedly don't really know how all that grad school stuff works yet. I know that university will throw money at you if you're the right person and I'd like to make that possible.
In the mean time I'm going to fill out the application I have sitting around for a substitute teaching position with the Erie School District. I don't mind kids, although I believe I would abhor teaching high school. But it would give me some decent experience. Plus substitute teachers don't really have to do much.... if they get called in to cover someone that teaches in an area other than their own expertise they basically show the kids a movie or give them some busy work. You don't have to have lesson plans and all that jazz. Plus, even though it probably won't start until August or so, it will give me some extra money and something to occupy my time.
I don't know how much longer I can put up with Best Buy's bullshit. Truthfully, I love the company. They try to do amazing things for their employees and everyone at the BBY in State College was top notch. But in Erie, everyone sucks.....it's terrible. If I stay here much longer it will only be for lack of a better (or equally good) paying option.
Roger is leaving on June 13th to go to Cali and then training in New Mexico for 5 months. I wish I was leaving that sooner too, though I don't envy him the heat he's going to have to endure during training.
As for me, I'm stuck. I get to pack and clean and plan a life in a place I have never seen. I'll be looking online for apartments I won't be able to see in neighborhoods that I'll have to call other people to ask about. I know if there a neighborhoods you want to avoid in a place as small as Erie that there are only going to be worse neighborhoods in a place as big as San Diego, and I'm sure all the seemingly cheap places to live will be in those places.
Also, during this time I need to keep a decent job so I can live, of course. But I need to take my GREs.... and start the lengthy, painful application process for grad school. I'm probably going to take advantage of my lack of anything to do by actually studying a little for the GRE before I sign up to take it. To the best of my knowledge there is only one university in the San Diego area that has a graduate program in political philosophy: University of California at San Diego. I really don't have a clue how exclusive the program may or may not be, but I don't want to miss my only chance. I'd also like to do good enough that I can be eligible for funding or even a fellowship, although I admittedly don't really know how all that grad school stuff works yet. I know that university will throw money at you if you're the right person and I'd like to make that possible.
In the mean time I'm going to fill out the application I have sitting around for a substitute teaching position with the Erie School District. I don't mind kids, although I believe I would abhor teaching high school. But it would give me some decent experience. Plus substitute teachers don't really have to do much.... if they get called in to cover someone that teaches in an area other than their own expertise they basically show the kids a movie or give them some busy work. You don't have to have lesson plans and all that jazz. Plus, even though it probably won't start until August or so, it will give me some extra money and something to occupy my time.
I don't know how much longer I can put up with Best Buy's bullshit. Truthfully, I love the company. They try to do amazing things for their employees and everyone at the BBY in State College was top notch. But in Erie, everyone sucks.....it's terrible. If I stay here much longer it will only be for lack of a better (or equally good) paying option.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Update
So far nothing has changed. My grade is still a B. I haven't heard anything either way and, despite the fact that I'm epicly pissed off by this, I think I'm just inclined to let it go. As long as I graduate with a 3.0 cumulative GPA still..... I really don't see the point in bickering over one fuckin' grade. Yeah..... I understand that maybe he gave me the grade out of kindness and that I shouldn't be so upset by this, but every moment of my time this past week was crucial. The time I spent on his paper may have caused me to bomb my last final on Friday that was worth 40% of my overall grade. I feel like I did so much for nothing at all.....
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Un-fucking-believable
Ok, so I really need this rant right now.
This week is finals week for me. Not only is it the craziest week of the semester, but I am graduating - so it is the craziest week of my life (so far). Now aside from all the work I finished up last week or over the weekend, I had 2 papers due on Tues, 1 paper due today (Thurs) and I have a bunch of essays to prepare for a final tomorrow morning still.
Now there is a bit of confusion here. You see, I finished my first 2 papers, handed one in on Tues and one in on Wed, these are both not only for the same professor, but for one class. Now, this paper I had to write for today had to be twice the length of those other papers. It is also, strangely enough, for the same professor. However, the reason this paper had to be so long was because it was for an independent study course - for which I received no other assignments all semester - so I had to thusly demonstrate in one paper a whole semester's worth of knowledge. I'm not complaining because I really didn't have the free time during the rest of the semester, so even though this option makes for an excruciating week for me, I like it.
So.... I get to work on this paper around 10 this morning. I have no idea what to write about and since I didn't have assignments all semester I obviously didn't keep up with the reading. Not even just that; I actually hadn't read anything at all and had absolutely ZERO knowledge about the subject matter. Lucky me. So I spend a few hours in the morning just reading through lectures and gleaming enough knowledge that I can come up with a topic and do further research. I finally find one and begin writing, but I constantly have to go look up information, which makes the whole process extremely painful.
I went through this ongoing pain for about 9 hours before I decided to take a little break. I was at a computer in the library so I decided to go check and see if any more of my grades had been posted to eLion. I highly doubted it, since I had just handed in work for one class yesterday, I still have a final tomorrow and one of my bitchy profs is fuckin' slow (yeah....). I figured it was a long shot, but it's almost the end of finals week so maybe I'll get lucky. I'm surprised to see that 6 out of 8 classes have grades posted for them already. (No grade from the fucking slow bitch prof of course.)
This wouldn't normally bother me except for one small detail. There is already a grade posted for the class which I'm currently working on the paper for. The same class in which I have had no assignments all semester and therefore have no basis on which to have a grade.
I've been given a B.
Now, I seriously don't want to complain about getting a B for doing no work. I just wish I would have known sooner that I could get a B for doing no work. Also, I'm extremely fucking pissed that I just wasted 11 hours writing a paper that doesn't even fucking matter when I could have been working on essays for my final tomorrow morning that IS going to fucking matter!!! omg I could kill someone.
I'm not sure if this is a blessing or a curse. I figure it is possible that he made a mistake. Perhaps he saw that he had papers from me and associated one of them with the wrong class......except that wouldn't make sense because they are about completely different things.....
I almost punched the fuckin' computer and left. But....then I contemplated the possibility that he accidentally gave me that grade and could take it back when he realizes what he did. Well, I figure, on the off chance that happens I should finish the paper. So, somehow, I muster up the audacity to spend another 2 hours finishing a bullshit, worthless fucking paper. The only consolation I find in this is that if I got a B in that class for doing nothing maybe once he sees that I actually wrote a fucking paper he will raise my grade. I figure is nothing is worth a B, then something should be worth at least an A-, don't ya think??
Wow.......... fuck this shit.
This week is finals week for me. Not only is it the craziest week of the semester, but I am graduating - so it is the craziest week of my life (so far). Now aside from all the work I finished up last week or over the weekend, I had 2 papers due on Tues, 1 paper due today (Thurs) and I have a bunch of essays to prepare for a final tomorrow morning still.
Now there is a bit of confusion here. You see, I finished my first 2 papers, handed one in on Tues and one in on Wed, these are both not only for the same professor, but for one class. Now, this paper I had to write for today had to be twice the length of those other papers. It is also, strangely enough, for the same professor. However, the reason this paper had to be so long was because it was for an independent study course - for which I received no other assignments all semester - so I had to thusly demonstrate in one paper a whole semester's worth of knowledge. I'm not complaining because I really didn't have the free time during the rest of the semester, so even though this option makes for an excruciating week for me, I like it.
So.... I get to work on this paper around 10 this morning. I have no idea what to write about and since I didn't have assignments all semester I obviously didn't keep up with the reading. Not even just that; I actually hadn't read anything at all and had absolutely ZERO knowledge about the subject matter. Lucky me. So I spend a few hours in the morning just reading through lectures and gleaming enough knowledge that I can come up with a topic and do further research. I finally find one and begin writing, but I constantly have to go look up information, which makes the whole process extremely painful.
I went through this ongoing pain for about 9 hours before I decided to take a little break. I was at a computer in the library so I decided to go check and see if any more of my grades had been posted to eLion. I highly doubted it, since I had just handed in work for one class yesterday, I still have a final tomorrow and one of my bitchy profs is fuckin' slow (yeah....). I figured it was a long shot, but it's almost the end of finals week so maybe I'll get lucky. I'm surprised to see that 6 out of 8 classes have grades posted for them already. (No grade from the fucking slow bitch prof of course.)
This wouldn't normally bother me except for one small detail. There is already a grade posted for the class which I'm currently working on the paper for. The same class in which I have had no assignments all semester and therefore have no basis on which to have a grade.
I've been given a B.
Now, I seriously don't want to complain about getting a B for doing no work. I just wish I would have known sooner that I could get a B for doing no work. Also, I'm extremely fucking pissed that I just wasted 11 hours writing a paper that doesn't even fucking matter when I could have been working on essays for my final tomorrow morning that IS going to fucking matter!!! omg I could kill someone.
I'm not sure if this is a blessing or a curse. I figure it is possible that he made a mistake. Perhaps he saw that he had papers from me and associated one of them with the wrong class......except that wouldn't make sense because they are about completely different things.....
I almost punched the fuckin' computer and left. But....then I contemplated the possibility that he accidentally gave me that grade and could take it back when he realizes what he did. Well, I figure, on the off chance that happens I should finish the paper. So, somehow, I muster up the audacity to spend another 2 hours finishing a bullshit, worthless fucking paper. The only consolation I find in this is that if I got a B in that class for doing nothing maybe once he sees that I actually wrote a fucking paper he will raise my grade. I figure is nothing is worth a B, then something should be worth at least an A-, don't ya think??
Wow.......... fuck this shit.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Bad-taste Jokes Explained:
Stop me if I'm wrong, but you may have heard this one:
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?"
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven....ha, ha......ha? Right....
You see the problem with this is the logic behind it. Really this joke is only pointing out the obvious: would not a Jew, or any person for that matter, scream if they were put in an oven? Well, I would think so. Therefore, by attempting to be an ass, this joke is only pointing out how Jews are normal fucking people, with vocal chords, just like everyone else.
Why thank you, Mr. Joke, for pointing out to us the underlying equality of all human beings.
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?"
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven....ha, ha......ha? Right....
You see the problem with this is the logic behind it. Really this joke is only pointing out the obvious: would not a Jew, or any person for that matter, scream if they were put in an oven? Well, I would think so. Therefore, by attempting to be an ass, this joke is only pointing out how Jews are normal fucking people, with vocal chords, just like everyone else.
Why thank you, Mr. Joke, for pointing out to us the underlying equality of all human beings.
Things I think....
An apple a day keeps the doctor away....
Because, secretly, all doctors are terrified of apples.
Because, secretly, all doctors are terrified of apples.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I send to you my deepest regards....
Dear Blog,
I would like to apologize for leaving you so neglected and underfed as of late. I embarked on my journey with you at an ill-conceived time. Once I have completed my previous quest: 'Graduate College.' I will return and promise to update you in a fashion that is much more becoming to a blog such as yourself.
Please forgive me any transgression. I wish you the best in my absence.
Sincerely,
Mallory
:) :) :)
I would like to apologize for leaving you so neglected and underfed as of late. I embarked on my journey with you at an ill-conceived time. Once I have completed my previous quest: 'Graduate College.' I will return and promise to update you in a fashion that is much more becoming to a blog such as yourself.
Please forgive me any transgression. I wish you the best in my absence.
Sincerely,
Mallory
:) :) :)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Incongruity
I'm confused by the world in which Jane's Addiction is opening for NIN....
Then again last time I saw NIN they had a "slam poet" open for them.
My brain hurts.
http://www.livenation.com/edp/eventId/404895/?c=adb-pittsburgh-nin-b
Then again last time I saw NIN they had a "slam poet" open for them.
My brain hurts.
http://www.livenation.com/edp/eventId/404895/?c=adb-pittsburgh-nin-b
News of Note
I haven't had much time to think about writing, but I'm trying to be informed more than I normally am. I decided to actually use my digg account more frequently, since one of the main reasons I'm not up to date on news is that I don't particularly trust getting my news from any one source.
14yr old girl posts nude pics on myspace and is charged with child porn
California contemplates banning black cars
Apparently if you're not mainstream you are a threat
15yr depression?? Keynesian vs. Austrian economics
14yr old girl posts nude pics on myspace and is charged with child porn
California contemplates banning black cars
Apparently if you're not mainstream you are a threat
15yr depression?? Keynesian vs. Austrian economics
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Something that has always bothered me...
On Peach St, pretty much the biggest, busiest street in town, there is a Catholic school. I don't know who in their right mind decided to smack a children's school into the middle of a busy, commercial section of town.The only logic I can see behind it is that Catholic schools are truly more of a business than they are anything else.
Now, on top of all this you have the fact that there is, of course, a school zone. A school zone, with it's amazing 15mph speed limit coupled with the inane fact that this is on a street that otherwise is so busy they made the speed limit 40mph. (This is notable because typically the speed limit in the city does not exceed 35mph. You don't find the 40mph roads until you get in out into the country moreso.)
I can't imagine that I am really the only person who finds this outrageous. There obviously was a complete lack of logic thought that went into the placement of this school.
I think that they don't need a school zone. The Catholics already think they're so much better than everyone else, surely it wouldn't be a big task for them to just ask God to protect their children from being idiots who run into oncoming traffic. Problem solved: I don't have to sit in traffic jams on the way to work. No one has to road rage. And the Catholics can finally prove their faith to the rest of humanity, I mean, they don't have any doubts, right??
Now, on top of all this you have the fact that there is, of course, a school zone. A school zone, with it's amazing 15mph speed limit coupled with the inane fact that this is on a street that otherwise is so busy they made the speed limit 40mph. (This is notable because typically the speed limit in the city does not exceed 35mph. You don't find the 40mph roads until you get in out into the country moreso.)
I can't imagine that I am really the only person who finds this outrageous. There obviously was a complete lack of logic thought that went into the placement of this school.
I think that they don't need a school zone. The Catholics already think they're so much better than everyone else, surely it wouldn't be a big task for them to just ask God to protect their children from being idiots who run into oncoming traffic. Problem solved: I don't have to sit in traffic jams on the way to work. No one has to road rage. And the Catholics can finally prove their faith to the rest of humanity, I mean, they don't have any doubts, right??
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Ads and extraneous penis talk
Great. Now all my Google ads are about trucks. I wonder how many times I have to say penis to get them to display ads for penis enhancement. I wonder if Google even supports ads for penis enhancement or are they too classy for that? What about breast enhancement? Although I don't know how many people would think to themselves that a random ad on the side of a page would be the best way to go about making your dick bigger.
You know how there are all those weight loss programs that use hypnotism to "convince" you to choose better eating habits? Maybe they should do that for penis enlargement too. (What is the plural of penis? penises? penis'? peni? penisise penisese? I have no clue. But if you pronounce that last one it sounds like the name for an indiginous people of Penis origin: "What nationality are you?" "I am Penisese.") Everyone knows deep down that taking a drug, or rubbing some cream on their junk isn't going to make it any bigger. But if we can sell them hypnotism instead, they can be hypnotized to think that their penis is bigger (or just to think that it doesn't need to be bigger). Voila! Satisfied customers. Oh wait, I forgot that you never want to actually, completely satisfy your customers..... if you did that then they would hve no reason to keep giving you money and your business would go straight down the drain. Maybe the effects could wear off after a month or 2 so they would need repeat hynosis sessions. lol, epic.
You know how there are all those weight loss programs that use hypnotism to "convince" you to choose better eating habits? Maybe they should do that for penis enlargement too. (What is the plural of penis? penises? penis'? peni? penisise penisese? I have no clue. But if you pronounce that last one it sounds like the name for an indiginous people of Penis origin: "What nationality are you?" "I am Penisese.") Everyone knows deep down that taking a drug, or rubbing some cream on their junk isn't going to make it any bigger. But if we can sell them hypnotism instead, they can be hypnotized to think that their penis is bigger (or just to think that it doesn't need to be bigger). Voila! Satisfied customers. Oh wait, I forgot that you never want to actually, completely satisfy your customers..... if you did that then they would hve no reason to keep giving you money and your business would go straight down the drain. Maybe the effects could wear off after a month or 2 so they would need repeat hynosis sessions. lol, epic.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Utilitarian vs. Aesthetically pleasing
This is the Cadillac Escalade. There are many newer pickups that have been released with a similar design.
I can't stand it.
Those stupid side guard things....I don't even know what to call them, that's how dumb they are: they lack proper terminology.
I could vaguely understand that they could be very practical in the utilitarian sense. A pickup truck is intended for hauling/transporting things and having that extra bit to help hold things in would come in handy at times. However,not only do I find these things to be a heaping aesthetic eyesore, this isn't a truck intended for doing any "heavy lifting". Sure, physically speaking this truck would be very capable of performing all the necessary tasks that would qualify it as a vehicle appropriate for all the tough jobs of towing and what-not. But who buys a Cadillac just to do dirty work with it?? Pickup trucks are generally intended to take a beating. There's no point in getting a truck that you won't even get near some dirt, let alone consider doing back-breaking work with.
Blood Drive on St.Patty's Day??
I don't know what the guidelines are so maybe I'm completely out of line here, but it just doesn't seem like a good idea to host a blood drive, on a college campus, on St.Patrick's day and the day after. This is like THE holiday for inebriated college students (not to mention State Patrick's Day for those drunkards at Penn State's main campus in State College).
Like I said, I don't know what the guidelines are for donating blood if there is alcohol in your system. I do know that they don't want my dirty, Chernobyl blood so it just seems rude to me that they would rather have alcohol ridden blood instead. (fyi: They refuse to take my blood based on the time frame that I lived in Europe. I have no proof that this is at all related to Chernobyl. It just seems like a more interesting excuse than no excuse at all.)
So yeah, if anyone wants to donate blood you can go to Behrend tomorrow.....I doubt hangovers affect your eligibility.
Like I said, I don't know what the guidelines are for donating blood if there is alcohol in your system. I do know that they don't want my dirty, Chernobyl blood so it just seems rude to me that they would rather have alcohol ridden blood instead. (fyi: They refuse to take my blood based on the time frame that I lived in Europe. I have no proof that this is at all related to Chernobyl. It just seems like a more interesting excuse than no excuse at all.)
So yeah, if anyone wants to donate blood you can go to Behrend tomorrow.....I doubt hangovers affect your eligibility.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Stripes of a different color....
During WWII the Germans granted the Japanese honor status as Aryans.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorary_Aryan
That makes so little sense I think my brain might explode.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorary_Aryan
That makes so little sense I think my brain might explode.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My cat hates the Irish
I bleached my hair out yesterday, intending to dye over it again, I just needed it lighten.
Well, I'm sitting at my computer when my kitten comes into the room. She seems curious about my hair and jumps up on me to look at it. Then she starts attacking my hair, but in that cute kitten sort of way. She kept trying to eat it and bat at it and it was generally endearing......until she clawed my face. That wasn't so cute, in fact, it hurt. I guess my cat hates redheads.
Well, I'm sitting at my computer when my kitten comes into the room. She seems curious about my hair and jumps up on me to look at it. Then she starts attacking my hair, but in that cute kitten sort of way. She kept trying to eat it and bat at it and it was generally endearing......until she clawed my face. That wasn't so cute, in fact, it hurt. I guess my cat hates redheads.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
In cars
I only think of interesting things to talk about when I'm driving.
On the way home from work there is a McDonald's billboard. On it is a picture of some fancy coffee drink and the words: "The cure for the Pennsylvania cold."
Now, I've been driving past this sign for weeks, barely paying any attention to it until the other day when I finally realized I had misinterpreted the aforementioned "Pennsylvania cold". I had taken the 'Pennsylvania cold' to be some dumb phrase referencing a terrible cold that you get in Pennsylvania.....i.e. a sickness type of cold. I've finally realized that it is simply referring to the temperature. I had been wondering how coffee would make someone feel better when they were sick, but McDonald's advertising has always been so inane that the stupidity of what I thought it was saying seemed normal.
I don't understand how my brain does these things..... Its times like these when I realize how blonde I can actually be. :)
On the way home from work there is a McDonald's billboard. On it is a picture of some fancy coffee drink and the words: "The cure for the Pennsylvania cold."
Now, I've been driving past this sign for weeks, barely paying any attention to it until the other day when I finally realized I had misinterpreted the aforementioned "Pennsylvania cold". I had taken the 'Pennsylvania cold' to be some dumb phrase referencing a terrible cold that you get in Pennsylvania.....i.e. a sickness type of cold. I've finally realized that it is simply referring to the temperature. I had been wondering how coffee would make someone feel better when they were sick, but McDonald's advertising has always been so inane that the stupidity of what I thought it was saying seemed normal.
I don't understand how my brain does these things..... Its times like these when I realize how blonde I can actually be. :)
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